i remember the first time i did it
i was at my limit
years of torment, anguish, shame
you put me into a corner with no other way out
i felt suffocated
i wanted free…i wanted to float away somewhere nice
music so loud
it hid my cries
my hands were so shaky
i knew very well what i was doing
i never knew how addictive it would be
i do not regret it
for what is done is done
it felt good
i felt as if the pain went away with every cut
left wrist….right wrist… shoulder blades…thighs…legs
years accumulated of feeling just so goddamn depressed let go
i was a mess
my whole face covered in tears
snot dripping down
i understood it.
how […]