So tired, so ready to go, so wanting to leave the world I hate behind, escape its evil and pain and cruelty. Yet so afraid of what I will find on the other side, so afraid to exchange a temporary hell (no matter how long and painful) for a permanent one. Â And so I end up staying in the pain I know, seemingly mocked forever as the nerd, the nothing, the loser, a complete failure in everyone’s eyes including my own. Â I want to die but am afraid to, want to end my pain but am afraid it will just follow me. Â Yet I know […]
Does anybody know of any other  suicide forums online beside suicide project – confidential, trustworthy with a slightly more pro suicide view?  Not A.S.H., that’s turned into nothing but trolls.  Can anyone suggest something trustworthy and confidential they’ve seen?
I remember a time when I was young, I think just starting junior high school, around the time when it became all too obvious there was only one way my life could go. I was in church with my parents (Roman Catholic Sunday mass), and I was sitting in between my mother and a man who’d been in a car accident. He wore a neck brace, leg braces, and the kind of crutches that attach to the arms. Before long, he fell asleep, and my mother whispered to me to wake him up, but I wouldn’t. Her whispering grew louder and […]
Was the “Worthy?” post taken down? If so, why? Was just wondering and being new here I don’t really the how and why of the site yet.
I saw an episode from Monty Python where a man is imprisoned in the Soviet Union, and guards have just grabbed him to take him from his cell to be tortured and executed. Suddenly someone is shaking his shoulder and telling him to wake up. He sees he’s laying in a lawn chair at his own house, and his sweet loving elderly mother is standing over him. He’s so happy, he cries “Mother, thank God! It was all a dream!” and she just gives him a beaming smile and says “oh, no, dear, this is the dream! You’re still back […]
I know probably no one will believe this, but this story of a girl who hung herself at age 17 and had a near death experience ( she was hanging for between 8-12 minutes) I found hopeful and encouraging for me personally. It made me think that maybe, just maybe no matter how much of a “nerd” people view me as, no matter what a useless failure I am to everyone, that maybe somehow someone could care for me and love me when no one else does. I just post the link here because maybe it might cheer someone else up who has […]