I think i want to die, and it scares me
I told you what was happening you shamed me.
How could i tell you it still happens?
I saw you give up on other when they couldn’t just stop.
I can’t stand the idea of you giving up on me because i can’t.
Everytime i tell you i can hear the letdown in your voice.
It makes me want to do it again.
How can you be so blind the proof is there, i need your help!
But i am scared to ask, to scared to ask.
if you ask me if i am ok once i am going to think you don’t care, it is just a passing comment.
if you ask a second time i am going to think you didn’t hear me the first.
if you ask me three times i will wonder why you care.
if you keep asking me i may believe that you really care and i will tell you the truth.
but we never get past the second time…
I just want to cry. To let it all out. To have someone hold me. Tell me they love me that everything will be alright. That they will never leave me no matter what. No matter how hard it gets. That they will never ever give up on me. Even wheni have given up on myself. I just want to cry.
starting over no one knows my secrets i wonder everyday if i could get away with cutting again.
would anyone see it? if they did would they do anything about it?
i fear to know
i don’t know how this idea started but i had this strong feeling that i was going to die before i turned 13. i felt all alone and didn’t have much to live for.even though i was young i was unafraid of death or what would happen after. i was so confused when i live through my 13 birthday. now as i grow i still don’t see much purpose to me living but now i have this ever constant fear of death. what age has done to me giving me fear i did not know as a child.
i am so afraid that what has happened in the past will come to haunt me.
i am afraid that people will discover my little secret.
i just want a new start, but i am afraid of repeating the past.
I cut again for the first time in months. I forgot how good it feels.
I know that is a bad thing but I can’t stop think about how good it feels.
When darkness fell
on this land
light was jailed
and laughter band
I try to stand
but find no ground
in anger I yell
but hear no sound
The earth does weep
and the sky does cry
in this land
where truth is lie
no way to end
what had begun
in the land
where life in done
here in this land
where shadows dwell
all hope has fled
since darkness fell
I don’t need you advice! I don’t need you sympathy! I just want you to LISTEN!
I don’t do this ’cause I want attention, well not from the world, but from you.
I just want to hear you say “I LOVE YOU” and mean it with all your heart!
Did you know that every time we talk on the phone I can’t wait to hear you say “I LOVE YOU“.
Sometimes that is the only reason I call, but sometimes it never comes.
People say that “Love” is thrown around so much that it means less.
Not to me!
Every time I hear […]