I don’t want to die I just want to be scared and if that means dying than that’s fine… I’m not afriad of committing suicide, I’m scared if I were fail… What people would think of me.
the demons are back and their stronger than ever. i wish they would just leave me alone.
it’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. its not a mental thing– its a physical thing. it is physically hard to open your mouth and talk. the words come out like your retarded and you just cant do anything about it. we were born to die, right? so i might as well just end it now… its crazy how this world can be so confusing. i try to be someone im not so people love me… i fake a smile so people dont question me. i pretend that it doesnt hurt but in reality im in so much pain its crazy. […]
she looked at her blades
then looked at her wrist
she misses the feeling
her scars are fading
she was staying strong for so long
she finially gave in
she put the blade on the her wrist
she knew all that work was for nothing
she began to cry
she sat there in pain
becuase she knew she was insane
we bleed just to know that were alive. you hurt yourslef on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. the worst thing about being sad is that your not really sure about what makes you happy anymore. its like i can compose my self when i with people but when im alone i totally just break down… I’ll adimt it, i stress out, i cry, i hide my emotions, i fake a laugh, i hurt but you know what? i’m trying and its not very easy
i realized that i am dead. i might not be dead too other people… but inside i know that i am. i wish someone knew i needed help becuase im way to scared to tell anyone that im this close to just ending it. any advise…
palying with friends turned into playing with blades. broken toys turn into broken hearts. best friends turn into strangers. happiness turns into pain. this isnt a phase it is reality. this thing about pain is it demands to be felt. i just wish i could have one more day with out being sad. its like im drowning and everyone above me is just saying swim. you see i cant be foxed no matter how many cuts i make no matter how many pills i take. i will always live in pain… theres not a thing i can do about it.
darkness consumes me, all of me. all i see is darkness. My mind is full of dark thoughts you see, all i want is to be set free. feeling this way all the times makes me even more depressed… i need to be saved or i need to go. i just wish that my parents loved me, i wish i didnt cut i wish i didnt depend on pills to make me feel better. i wish that i was differnt…
deppresion isnt crying all the time it isnt the constant reminder that you want to die, its the feeling of being numb… its not something you want to have bt you just do. its not like i asked for this life. I would never want someone to feel the pain i feel…