So I think I got a C- on a class.
It was a prerequisite to a class that is only offered in the spring, so essentially I have to stay in school one whole extra year just for one more class.
That is a whole year of my life gone, it feels like how depression is and brings it back stronger.
Like I have no control, why is everything so harsh in this world
And I’m losing focus
I knew I should have learned to swim
And I made a promise
To meet you but I doubted it
Suddenly the deepest can get true
When you’re living life without a clue
god i just want to rip my fucking skin apart
The only thing I want is peace
but all I feel is ashamed
I’ve got these sick sad thoughts
and all they do is replay
Let the ocean take me
Go now precious whispers
Float my sorrows into the sea
Let the waves collapse above me
And wash away my fucking
MEMORY
I feel the cold wind on my back
The shackles have been released
Let me out into the world
Because all I ever want is to be free
it comes back again
this absolute firey rage
get me out
let me end
Such a rage
I just want to destroy everything
smash everything
around me
When I get mad, into a fiery rage
I bang my head over and over
Scratching my face
Slapping myself
Until i get such a bad headache
Dear desolation
Pull me deeper into flame
The idols of man
Have bathed in blood
Home
alone
where all my fears are formed
I am probably going to fail one of my courses
I can’t wait for my parent’s reaction
Another expectatio not met
If only noone cared about me
Then I could be truly free
Still, I remain alone
The days feel like years, when I’m alone…
Forever bound by expectations and mistakes
It’s like the world is falling how will I recover…
And I can fight the waves but they still pull me under…
The bottles always there when I have nowhere else to turn
Will I ever learn?
I take another sip
The dark room that I’m in becomes dimly lit
This can’t be all there is
Everyone’s out and about
While I stay secluded
I bleed transparent
It’s not the way I choose
But it’s only when im vulnerable
My true colors shine through
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