Author

Voidt

I give up ! There’s no hope anymore, everything I do is futile and I’m too lonely. Life keeps playing tricks on me; I would be fine one morning, then, almost out of nowhere, I wake-up to something terrible, and I’ll be sitting there wondering why it happened.

I’ve had enough. I don’t know what the end will be; I think it may be suicide; cutting myself looks so good right now, I had resisted doing it for a long-time.

I’m so sick of people, I’m sick of my self, I’m bored of life.

If you’re out there, God, just kill me already you fucking prick…At least make […]

3/15/2015 1 comment

My last few years

by Voidt 3/13/2015

written by Voidt

I’ll start by saying: wherever there’s hope, there’s disappointment…
I don’t know why I visited the place; I hadn’t been to the park for years…Since, probably, at least it is the latest I can remember, me and my girlfriend were little love-birds humping each-other in the toilets. It looked, smelt– felt the same, indeed, so much so that one can only call it, eccentric. Maybe it is the hopefulness the memories possessed that took me there– or maybe my sheer lack of recent-by recent I mean the last 4 years- memories urged me to find comfort in memories that once promised new ones. I really […]

3/13/2015 2 comments

What happens after a suicide

by Voidt 2/24/2015

written by Voidt

The aftermath of suicide — Misty lost her son in August 2014 and is struggling to keep his memory alive, prevent suicides and to cope with the heartbreak.

https://todayistblogger.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/the-aftermath-of-suicide-a-mothers-story/

2/24/2015 6 comments

inescapable “depression”

by Voidt 2/16/2015

written by Voidt

Do you agree with this view: “Depression is the illness of civilization, without civilization, we’d be happy: We’d be happy without depression. Without depression we would not have the beautiful arts: novels, plays, paintings. If we were happy we wouldn’t need the arts. Without our depression happiness as a concept would not exist”.

https://todayistblogger.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/depression/

2/16/2015 1 comment

For that woman in my mind that’s not in my life.

by Voidt 2/2/2015

written by Voidt

Woman in my mind; she is in my dream.

My dream wakes me in to my life; the women in my mind returns in form of a dream.

Liberated from my dream, she is in my mind. My mind is on the woman in my dream.

Never leaves my mind – she needs to leave my mind, make my dream my life.

She needs to be in my life; on my mind.

2/2/2015 2 comments

Smiling

by Voidt 1/27/2015

written by Voidt

Sitting there blank-faced, forcing a smile has to be the painful scene that I act-out, every-day. Why do we need to smile… is it a law of nature ? People just do not understand that a smile indicates a positive in a persons life; but constant-sometimes it has no-reason- pain cannot produce a smile, naturally.

Forcing myself into this smile, is as pathetic as insisting that “I’m fine” when I’ve clearly drank almost two bottles of wine — the latter is painfully funny, but the former is just painful. I can do laughing — laughing is part of a momentary reaction to a funny act, event, notion, thought or an uttered […]

1/27/2015 0 comment

Like the wind

by Voidt 1/26/2015

written by Voidt

Physically invisible,
mentally incurable,
Fiercely unstable,
I’m like the wind.

Mountains are in my way,
Skyscrapers disturb my stay,
I roam freely at bay,
I’m like the wind.

I slip endlessly into emptiness,
My existence is meaningless,
My destinations are aimless,
I’m like the wind.

For hatred it has sympathy,
In riches it lives simply,
It travels as if with a symphony,
I need to be more like the wind.

1/26/2015 6 comments

Everyday is the same

by Voidt 1/25/2015

written by Voidt

Every-day is the same: I wake-up, and stare through my window — at the consequence of London’s cold winters. The slight breeze in my room –basically my world- makes me chilly (cold). I get back into bed, and go through my phone for 45 minutes: battling with myself not to get out bed. As the clocks strike 11, I start hearing calls to have my breakfast… I already know what the menu will include: eggs, cheese, tomatoes, olives, tea and toasted bread: I love the menu; but I’m trying to become a vegan. Nevertheless, I have some cheese, spinach and a few pieces of fruit […]

1/25/2015 4 comments

I want that Super-Power

by Voidt 1/15/2015

written by Voidt

Friend: If you had the choice, which super-power would you choose ?

Me: The power To-Be-Happy

Friend: Why ?

Me: We wish to become a Super-hero, like the ones who decorate our books, movies and comics, with their Super-natural powers. Their powers, is what we wish for: their ability to fly, be invincible, breathe fire, or extraordinary speed. Is speed needed when we need to slow down; why want invincibility when lack-of-acknowledgement is the root cause of our sadness; asking to fly when the ground is not understood is useless; breathing fire into a world that closely resembles hell –l is just plain sad. Asking for the Super-natural […]

1/15/2015 1 comment

Moving swiftly

by Voidt 1/13/2015

written by Voidt

Headphones are on — check, looking down and not ahead — check, dark clothing that hides your inner soul — check.

Removed from the past, neglecting the present, dreading the future – I’m moving, moving swiftly enough as to avoid everyone and everything. The Volume in my headphones are high enough to block the pollution of the outside world; my vision is fixed diagonally, avoiding eye contact and collision; the black jeans, Navy-blue t-shirt and black raincoat combine to render me invincible, in a city of dark clouds and buildings that block-out the sun. I’m moving swiftly, swiftly at twice the speed of any city- human. […]

1/13/2015 0 comment

Unwanted gratitude

by Voidt 1/9/2015

written by Voidt

In solitude, steadily moving towards what is not mine: a sense of tranquility. An artificial sense of gratitude steeps through the thought of tranquility, tranquility becomes a symbol of your demise. The feeling of gratitude to what is not wanted: it’s betrayal, that betrayal is present in the tranquility: the tranquility of the – ordinary! The ordinary is a distinction of your-self from the rest, they’re ordinary, you’re authentic. The meaningless feeling of tranquility they enjoy, cannot be a result of emptiness filled with the necessary elements that gratitude feeds on to manifest. Why you want that tranquility, you just can’t figure. In the end, that […]

1/9/2015 0 comment

Abandonment

by Voidt 1/8/2015

written by Voidt

Despair is repressed, only for a short-while, It cannot be hidden for too long. People start seeing it. It eagerly reveals its existence, like a child wanting to reveal his talents, in a school- play. Just like a play, despair is viewed as “fictitious”; in they’re mind, it’s only in your mind. Some believe it’s the lack of gratitude and love you show towards ’em; some, simply, enjoy your despair, it makes them feel better. In either case, their ego is the window in which, they view your despair. All this happens, as if they’ve never felt sad; as if they suddenly developed a relative […]

1/8/2015 1 comment

My Wine days

by Voidt 1/6/2015

written by Voidt

Now my depression is grey- and red; as, I’v poured wine on my sadness. Wrapping my hands round the coffee mug my wine hides in, thinking it’ll all be over soon. The red has now mixed in with my blood, streaming together, creating weaves throughout my soul. The mug is now stained with red tears; but, my tears are dry, I’ll cry no more.

The waves can’t settle, or they seize to exist.

The music gets better as the waves get stronger: both feeding off one another; both feeding my soul. The waves must go on.

Link: http://wp.me/p3Duo0-HCM

1/6/2015 1 comment

Living in the “Nowhere”

by Voidt 1/4/2015

written by Voidt

The nowhere, is a place that does and doesn’t exists. Like most things, it’s in the mind; but it’s lives in every moment of your life. A special kind of void/emptiness exists in the Nowhere. Void is emptiness itself, Nowhere, is full of emptiness. all it’s emptiness stops you in your path, then diverts you into another road that is leads to another “emptiness”. Like the the universe, the emptiness is endless, unlimited, vast and unrestrained. And like the universe, it’s full of chaos, and only chaos. You want it to be more like the universe that has stars, planets and at least one planet […]

1/4/2015 0 comment

Loneliness

by Voidt 1/2/2015

written by Voidt

Sitting in a dark room. Staring at the screen. Typical of a lonely person, a symptom of the lonely world. At times, you get up and stare out -of the window. You don’t see the outside. You see a reflection of your room; the loneliness of it: the darkness of it. You see a lonely person: yourself!, you feel detached from that person. Indeed, your lonely in your loneliness; you don’t even communicate with yourself.

Loneliness is your occupation. In a room full of people, you feel lonely. You cannot wait to get back home to feel more lonely again. You see, Loneliness is like a […]

1/2/2015 3 comments