seems like I can’t go for too long without eventually thinking of killing myself. yet I just won’t. if I was really about it, I’d have it done by now. makes me think that I don’t actually want to die. but if that’s the case, then this wouldn’t be a problem for me. I would care more about experiencing life, but I don’t. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be me and I don’t necessarily want to be anyone else. I just wish that my life never happened in the first place. I’m doing the bare minimum of being alive. I […]
