wow… that was fast. My father already made me an apointment to a psychotherapist after 2 hours… looks like they care after all…. i dont know who to believe anymore…. has anyoneone ever felt
that: you dont believe in your own thoughts?
Well… This sucks
im just… like… wtf? Sorry about the grammar, im still… high?
It was about 1 AM. I had been by the lake in the woods since 10 PM, sitting on the ground and waiting for everyone to leave or go home. Had problems with some stoners, who were melting just few meters away from me, they were staring at me constantly. I was about to leave and look for another place (sad, I really enjoyed the view there ) but at the same moment I thought about that they ran away. Still wandering why did they run? Whatever… So I sat there some more, […]
Well… today is the day. After few hours I’ll kick the bucket. Im scared as f***, shivers and cold sweat
but it’s what I desire and there is no way back now. Faith will decide further. Guess being aware of the fact that someone will read this, makes me feel less alone. Imagined strangers are the only thing that comforts me at the moment, elsewise its like im dead already… not sure if that makes any sense, its like i have lost my sanity and the unreal becomes real…
I keep on wandering what will happen, what will I see, where will i go, will i even […]
Yesterday on my way to work i passed a man. He was looking up and chanting, probably praying, Â his hand was reached out. I pulled out my wallet and took some money out, returned and gave it to the man, when i looked in to his eyes, i understood that he is blind. My heart broke. I admire him, he keeps on living…. then i started to wonder why? How do all these people take it? Why wont they end it?
The human lives when he is loved, the human lives when he desires… but when that is lost. All that is left is the instinct […]
Im so pissed right now…back then when i was lying in bed all day with fresh cuts on my hands noone gave a fuck… but now when i have to get a stupid highschool diploma suddenly im in the center of attention.
HEY! IM SUICIDAL OVER HERE!!! Help?
“but you wont get anywhere without proper edjucation, darling!”
am i dead already? what the hell giong on… noone can see nor hear me. Im crying through the day… how can you not notice mascara all over my stupid face?
okay, i dont need help anyways, i dont want it… but atleast before i die it would nice to hear things […]
Maybe if I write this out something is going to change… I just want someone to know.
I tried suicide three years ago. Guess that was the most amusing and pathetic suicide attempt in its own history. I survived as you see (sharpen twice next time). After that nothing much changed, No one even knows about it. I kept on existing and ignored my mind by making up beautiful illusions so I could get through the day (it worked well BTW) and I was too scared to try again.
Sadly… Don’t know what happened.
The feeling is back again, stronger than ever, different and now for real. […]