Author

wolfanasan

I Feel Better Being Nothing

by wolfanasan 12/1/2015

written by wolfanasan

I feel less suicidal, being nothing.

I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.

I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?

Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?

12/1/2015 3 comments

Sick Of The Struggle

by wolfanasan 11/30/2015

written by wolfanasan

life comes so easy to so many people. decent people around them. decent grades at school. decent personality. decent appearance.

thats all i really wanted. an average, decent life. i could live with that. but not this life where everything is a struggle.

things do work out better for some. dont tell me nothing good comes easy. the only good that comes easy for me is these suicidal thoughts and plans because they are my only escape from this hell life.

i am back to lying in bed all day staring at the walls falling in and out of sleep. it makes sense that this is how it […]

11/30/2015 4 comments

Finally Following Through

by wolfanasan 11/29/2015

written by wolfanasan

i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.

the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.

i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]

11/29/2015 30 comments