Author

xenutis

same old, same old

by xenutis 5/25/2015

written by xenutis

I hate my life. But the thing is I don’t want to die. Not really. Underneath the desperation, depression, and self-loathing I am stubborn and curious. I don’t think I can have it–a better life.

I was abused as a kid. My dad is a heroin addict, my mother an incredibly embittered alcoholic. They did things to me…things I can’t get over.

I am supposed to be over it. Supposed to slap a smile on for the sake of everyone else. Never talk about my ptsd, my depression, what happened. It makes people uncomfortable. And hey, better I be shamed for my feelings and alone then someone […]

5/25/2015 2 comments

Any other child abuse survivors out there?

by xenutis 1/13/2011

written by xenutis

I was abused as a child and that’s a large part of why I feel the way I do and why I am on sites like this.Â I was mentally, physically, and emotionally abused.Â No one wants me to talk about it.Â So I’m looking for some community.Â Can anyone relate?

-X

1/13/2011 114 comments

Tired of being Trapped

by xenutis 1/10/2011

written by xenutis

Hello all my fellow truth-seers and truth-seekers.

I think it’s going to be soon.Â I’m no troubled teen.Â Not anymore, I once was.Â I was abused as a child.Â I have no family that I currently speak to.Â No help at all in the middle of this great recession.Â I have a shitty job that I’m trapped in.Â After an entire childhood of feeling trapped I don’t want to feel trapped anymore.Â No friends really.Â People don’t want to connect with someone who’s been traumatized.Â Â Too ‘scary’.Â Too real.Â All I’ve ever been is thrown away by anyone I ever cared about.

I want to make an […]

1/10/2011 3 comments