For your poems.
I’ve been so close to almost call him or text him saying that I love him, so much. That I miss him so much. I thought that being drunk would help me to do that, cause I get more sensible, thought that would help me to do it by impulse, but not even drunk I can. I’m such a coward and I’m so fucking afraid.
Floating on a cloud
Drifting away into the blue sky
Sleeping the days away
I’m not good with goodbyes
Feeling numb, nervous
This isn’t a typical day
Falling into deep sleep
At least I know I’m okay
Looking far into the distance
I can see storm clouds appear
I shiver as the cold bites my nose
I will be okay, there’s nothing to fear
Opening my eyes
I’m sheltered by the sun
Thoughts race through my vacant mind
No need to run
Passing a mountain
I stare into the sea
Watching this last sunset
I float away, so let me be…
the man runs down a wet street in london in his qwiaring hands he holds a small torso its lims slashed to ribions the man is crying… not waling tears but solum determind tears with eyes that pearst the gloom darting arownd to find some one anyone but even london sleeps and looks on uncearing the man now wet trough steps in to the light cast from the hostpitel the shineing from the figers arms is light relectid from the blood spilt from the lasharashions the blood has soked torugh the preshure bandige aplied vire a med kit and on tto the mans shirt the girl […]
“maby i should just let the sun engulf to world” said the god of man kind filled with a pashion for life but he did not have time for a evil race to the girl siting next to him “but if you give up it meens that you will never over come your proplem” the god looked at the girl and smilled “this is true” he says and reterns to wach theerth tern the towns and citeys sending up a yellow light on the night side but on the other green and blue could clerely be seen the question is when is the line to scrap it all and take the […]
I can feel myself being pulled under,
Deep into the depths of the ocean
I look up; I can see the dim sunlight underneath the water
The last glimpse of sunlight I’ll ever see
I use my hands to claw on to whatever I can find
But to no avail, they splash through the murky sea
I think of all the things I’ve done
The good and the bad
And how they would reflect me in my passing
Like the reflections of the sky in the ocean
Through the light and the darkness
Through the sun and the storms
My life was merely just a chapter in a book
And my chapter would be passed over for more
For […]
Something akin to a smoker with no cigarettes
a junky with no junk
My soul is unsatiated, a hollow heart for a friend.
This pain is ongoing, unending, unyielding, unceasing
Carving away at an already empty vessel.
If this body could lie down and never awake
If this soul could fly up and out and on
Into the darkness
The vast darkness.
There is comfort in an enveloping never ending darkness
A place with no pain.
ME OPS????fed up with refelctional frens(acts like ur therpist of sleeps ell except u to set u up with someobodi compley wrong for u)/karoolivigians(wutevre it is u like coming to suemthing …)… I JUST WISH I EXISTED IN SUMBD,IS HEART….
We are all just pawns in the play called Life ~
The pains of it cut’s the act like a Knife~
We will all end up husband or wife~
In this play called Life~
Act one is the child, banning out all drama~
When they get hurt they call to their momma~
Then at night they get cuddled up in their pajamas~
In this play called Life~
Act two is the love struck teen~
Pain in love is on the screen~
Envy fills their eyes, the color green~
In this play called Life~
Act three is the grown adult~
I believe they […]
Time for sleep
Lets rest our head
And look at the new cuts that bled
Time to sleep a certain way
So the burning goes away
The next day we wear our sleeves long
To hide the scars and cuts
When one gets touched you wince in pain
Hiding the fact it hurts
So no one acts worried
Later the one you love see’s the cuts..
They plead for you to stop
You promise to try
But with all the stress you break it
Then read the Cutters Lullaby
The cycle starts again
Many of you guys have heard about this guy… Â There was a book and movie written about him… Â “Into the Wild”:
Christopher Johnson McCandless was an American hiker who adopted the alias Alexander Supertramp and ventured into the Alaskan wilderness in April 1992 with little food and equipment, hoping to live simply for a time in solitude. Wikipedia
I admire this guy for who he was and for his ideals and adventurous spirit and relate to the guy. Â If you haven’t heard of him, see the movie. Â There are some lessons to be learned about self isolation and other things.
He basically starved to death out there, supposedly […]
There is a world just beyond your eyes,
A wonderful place, where beauty lies…
I drank the last sip of wine, and set the bottle down. My medicine was failing me, my loved ones had failed me, and lastly, I had failed myself. Tonight was the night, I told myself. I had no desire to stick around any longer. I had only caused myself misery, and made everyone else’s lives complete shit. I was a heavy weight on everyone’s shoulders, a boulder, weighing down until I was dropped so suddenly to the ground. I looked at the fireplace and closed my eyes. I could hear yelling and screaming inside my head, visions of violence played out over and over […]
I miss you
my ear is pounding
my writing is numb
the music is not here
never here
if I went deaf today
i would be deaf tomorrow
you left today
your gone tomorrow
im still here
alone
deaf in the mind
layers of you
still so thin
the scent of your hair grease
the stain of your cigaret
marked in my memory
pages of your regrets
never read aloud
you no one
but I knew
I will always know
You
i miss you
When you think you know someone
but they don’t know you
it’s not what you want
the kind of thing
that’s not possible to hear
you don’t leave
you can’t stay
make up your mind
because I can’t find mine
do I want to?
typing the lyrics to the song in my ear
but it won’t stand still
to many words for the hand
stuck
i want to be stuck
no time
and
free
that can’t happen
IÂ notice other people talking shit about me, but I always laugh
IÂ realize other people lying at me, but I always laugh
IÂ hear other people telling me that they don’t like me anymore, but I still always laugh
I starve myself because I’m not thin enough, but I always laugh
I put my eye- Makeup on because I’m not pretty enough, but I always laugh
I cut myself because I don’t feel enough, but I still always laugh
I’m writing you letters that no one will ever read, but I always laugh
You were my first real love and you will stay my last, but I always laugh
You said that you want to Forget […]
Chris.  My email is cdgibson875 at  gmail…
If anyone needs someone to talk to, anyone at all… Â I want to help.
well. imma try my best to help you as much as i can and i hope im able to get through to you.
So.. i used to in your shoes. its either not eating trying to kill yourself or cutting. and i did all 3. there might be more but im not aware of them really. anyways . you are most likely not wanting to live an the moment right now. and i completely understand. but tell your self everyday that you are beautiful and special and perfect in someones eyes. write your self notes in the bath room or on […]
I can’t sleep, I just breathe, I am afraid of nights, That’s when they come around, I don’t want them in, I want them to leave, and it hurts like hell, it hurts like hell…
You know what makes me feel better sometimes when I’m feeling down?
Reading a true story about someone who is up shit creek farther than me. Â At least I have a paddle.
Adrift is a great true story about Mr Callahan, who was trapped on a rubber ducky life raft in the ocean for 76 days. Â Here is a link to the eBook download (mods, I believe the author made the book public domain at one time)
Callahan_Steven-Adrift.epub:
http://easyfilesharing.info/file/1550/callahan-steven-adrift.epub
Here is a link to the authors website. Â He worked on […]
It’s almost as if it’s preaching directly to me, telling me indeed, you can’t escape your destiny. Gives me a little hope.
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