What if I didn’t exist? Would the world be a better place? Or would it feel any less different. I ache with pain that no one seems to understand. I speak softly but people listen loudly. I do not want this for myself but it seems I cannot shake it. I cannot shake the demons off. I am lost and in search of an imaginary peace. What people don’t realize is that I am not as strong as I seem. I used to be, at least I used to portray it better. I am now weak, the weak never prosper. I sought help from a […]
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Better Day
Cycles.
It happens in cycles.
Good day. I’m happy.
Bad day. I’m not.
Better day. I’m indifferent.
Good day. I’m happy.
Relapse. Shame. I cut.
Next day, I resist. I fail.
I resist again.
I succeed.
The next day is better. I focus on hiding the cuts.Â
The day after, I think that I’m strong enough. I’m angry for giving in. I’m so angry that I promise I will never cut again.
So I don’t.
Good day. I’m happy.
Bad day. I’m not.Â
Better day. I’m indifferent.
Good day. I’m happy.
Relapse. Shame. I cut.
Next day, I resist. I fail.
I resist again.
I succeed.
It never ends.Â
I can’t escape it.
Variations and patterns
But the blood is still red.