So, as I was sitting here I got to thinking and started going over my habits and addictions and thought I would share. I’m obsessed with chap stick, not eating it but just sitting there and running it over my lips idk why. I ALWAYS pick apart my pizza and hamburgers. 95% of the time I use bowls to eat out of and spoons. (Now some gore ones) *WARNING* ? ? ? I’m obsessed with picking at my scabs and I love the feeling of blood running down my body. I have an addiction to the burning of alcohol and smoke on my throat. I […]
Everyday I feel like killing myself a little more.
I keep my emotions bottled up now, biting my lip until I draw blood when I want to show emotion. It kills me inside to know that I’m getting closer to my death.
Honestly, the only reason I haven’t killed myself yet, is because of my friends on Quotev, music and because I would never leave my sister in all of this misery we go through.
I wish I had grown up differently, seen things differently, learned things differently. Though here I am.
If you think about it, it’s kind of funny. It’s funny how when we were little, we […]
I have this terrible habit. I’ve never actually gotten the courage to take a knife and slash my skin so that is not it. Instead I bite at my fingers until they bleed. My fingers ache right now because I’m typing. They really hurt after I wash my hands or am in the shower because they prune up and are useless to use. Since the layers vary depending on where I bite, the flesh underneath my first layers is exposed. This exposure makes them more sensitive so I can barely touch anything. My parents think I have a common nail biting habit but I rarely […]
The end remain the idle
See all you can do is sit
I need you, I need you
I am the frog but don’t kiss
I want to be a ninja
I want to stack, win battles at comicon
Will I be ever back in the bewilder
My football-helmet and my inflatable baseball-bat
In my chain biting the metal wire
I’m listening to bebop but retrograde in activation
Chuuming the sea,
Get it ready for me.
Throw in the fish,
Prepare the main dish.
Sharks all around,
They wait for that sound.
Me falling in,
Let the feeding begin.
Biting and ripping,
I feel my life slipping.
Soon nothing there,
Life was too much to bear.
Find my boat on the sea,
But they’ll never find me.
I’ve never really seen the point of self harm, but a few days ago, I started biting my hand to take my mind off things. I could concentrate on the pain instead of worrying. It just occurred to me today that what I was doing was self harm. I never bite hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a red mark by the end of the day, and I can’t seem to stop. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to be a burden on my friend anymore. He helped me when I was recovering from […]