She’s sleeping across from me, her consciousness vacant in the deep slumber of winter suspension. I can feel the pulsating music of her breath, fleeting softly in its trembling exhale and the delicate flutter of her inhale. I can see the small flicker of movement beneath the thin pale of her eyelids, almost lost in her catatonic beauty. Her chest rises and quivers with its innocent vulnerability, almost audible in the emptiness of the room. I’m breathing in the naked intimacy existing between her and I as I bathe in her captivating presence. I can feel her phantom dancing around me, her hands twirling, twisting in […]
Tag:
breath
Done . Im just done . I fought , i tried . But im broken … Every thought is a battle , every breath is a war ; and i dont think im winning anymore .
What to even say… I don’t know anymore to be honest. Before I knew exactly how to explain how I felt, but now, now I’m not sure anymore. Somedays I’m fine, I get up, get dressed and go straight out the door. But most days, I can’t. I can’t get up. Talk. Even go to the bathroom. I just lie there. Staring at the wall.
I just don’t know anymore. Its like. I don’t know. I just feel so heavy. It’s like there’s a weight in my chest, so much so that it’s even hard to breath.
I wish,
oh how I wish I had the strength to bring my breath to a stop,
I’m stuck between my loved ones and death,
And they don’t suspect my last breath.
— I wish i had the strength to kill myself, but I cant, because no one knows what death is like. So many religions around the world have their own ideals and perspectives. Some I used to follow till they yelled, stared down at me, ignore me, bullied me and drove me into the smallest corner of the church to hide. Til’ my family was done with their business there. Â Sometimes my sister would sit next to […]
its time to go
not long now ill be gone soon
if you miss me look at moon
it not long now
ill always ask how
as i take my final breath
all gone
all over
now im greeting death
I stared at my sister laying on the ground, her pale white hands on her throat gasping for breath; my baby sister that was naturally tanner than me was pale and bleeding out from both her wrists and her throat. I didn’t even realize it but I was screaming and I couldn’t stop. I screamed for my sister that was now bleeding on to the tan carpet, I screamed for the fear that was over coming my whole body.
“Dad! Dad! Daddy!” then came the […]
Frozen moments down the drain,
Ive been bitten by their mark.
Their coldness seeps into my veins
And crack my sullen heart.
Distorted by the raining wet,
An endless shroud of filmy grey,
I only see your silhouette
Stretched into the night then day.
My heart’s a bowl of tarnished tears
Carved by ceaseless thoughts of you,
worn ragged by the endless years
Of suffocating, singing blues.
I drink so memories decay,
to waste away’s my only duty.
so that my minds in disarray
Into an abyss of nightmarish beauty.
A rainbow made of rusty marrow
Ebbs into the dusk so dim,
Leaving a rainy arc so narrow
Of […]
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She was nine when it started.
She was sitting on the floor
Of her grand Dad’s mobile home
Thinkin and thinkin
She looked up and saw fields of grain fly by, and her one thought, her single thought was,
“Open it. Open the door, you could fly too.”
She got up, she jumped up, jumped. Lunged for the door, lunged for the handle.
Her breath shot out of her mouth, and she inhaled deep, deep, deep, until she choked on all the air.
She was little when it started, too little.
Is nine too little?
She […]
I didn’t have a childhood; I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything properly until age 13. I’ve heard stories; trips to disneyland, birthdays, holidays. I don’t remember anything.
When I was 15, a memory came back to me. A series of memories, in flashbacks.
I was four. I remembered all those times you left me alone in the basement; I remember crying so loudly that the neighbours called social services and I almost got taken away. I remembered that time you were on the telephone, screaming to somebody that you were going to kill yourself and me.
The last memory I have is of the day you […]
Ever been so emotionally hurt by someone, that you just sit in your bed, facing the wall, trying to breath because you’re crying so hard?
Curled tightly in its iron womb
Forthcoming almost certain doom
an infant bird respires last
wretched secrets mere and vast
“To die!” it shrills “I beg you please
Take my breath and let me cease”
A chilly, silent, cheerless air
secreted by this bird’s despair
Restrained by ageless ferric bars
adorned in grisly, gaping scars
from strife and discord with its cage
and self-inflicted fiendish rage
Withered and replete of wrath
its essence walks a lonely path
Phantoms, voices beckon so
and warn of hells it dares to go
what happened to this bird I know
a tale of endless pain and woe
left in its cage to rot […]
A chain made of halos from fallen angels binds me to the darkness
An existence subdued by the malignance that stalks from within
The pain envelops me, wringing out these last few drops of hope
Unspoken torment feasts on the binding of my soul
Shadows lurking in the corners of my mind, undetected, waiting for my weakest moment
The assault, like a flame to paper, is instant and unforgiving
That bright flicker soon gives way to the smoking ash of defeat
The remnants of my rumination scatter in the wind
The ghost of a breath, […]
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