I’m slipping back into depression. For the first time in months I deliberately took a razor to skin and edged it in. The familiar slice and twinge offered a precious moment free of the past that haunts me. It felt so GOOD. So tremendously good. My wrist is aching for a gash right now, but I can’t. My wrists are clean. Under my clothes isn’t so pure. It’s the only thing that offers freedom from pain, and I can only imagine that deeper cuts and a tub of warm water would offer all the more bliss. I can’t. I can’t kill myself, can’t and won’t. […]
Tag:
Bubbles
I admit. I am typically a shy person, but that does not prevent me from judging myself and anyone that I get in contact with.
Just minutes earlier at an university library, some woman in the next study booth was playing Lady Gaga rather loud even though the sign clearly labels the area as silent zone. Lady Gaga may sing awesome songs, but it still distracts me from my study… After 15+ minutes, I had enough, so I walked to her booth, knocked at the booth door. She looked at me puzzled, wondering why I put up a smile as a gesture of politeness. I slid […]
I bought a rope and there’s a bridge not far from where I live ..
I’ll be waiting for my intuition to tell me it’s time to go through with it
I’m tired of living just because others want and expect me to
I’m tired of living to preserve my relatives precious bubbles .. I’ve almost reached my breaking point
I’ve been trapped (1) in a body and (2) in this world for too long
I’ve lost interest in figuring out what my purpose is (assuming there’s even one)
my presence on here must be an error, I have no choice but to fix it
once I’m dead: no more struggles, […]