I have a normal life. A mother and family who loves me. And I am so utterly sad. My childhood was a mess of beating and abuse from my schoolteachers. My little brother and best friend died. I crave sympathy and the shock on people’s faces. I do nothing but sit around and feel sorry for myself. I am pathetic, I am a fool, a selfish, ungrateful, self centered loser who cannot commit to anything. I am 15 and I want to die already. My father is whining pile of sh*t that I hate. He is evil and I see him every day. I cut […]
Tag:
Cockroach
In the beginning there was nothing. it was all
so peaceful. it was void. and then a cockroach sized bug…
somehow it came into existence and start walking
inside void.
it was not evil. it was simply clueless and innocent.
it was a clueless innocent cockroach, but as it
walked…
every step it took, it somehow created sand particles
because in it’s mind or something, it believed it
was stepping on something as it was walking within
void.
it walked and walked and walked and it is still
walking to this date. new sand particles are being
created, more planets will form. and so on..
If you ever see that […]
Last time I spoke with another person was 14 months ago. And I don’t really suffer from social phobia or anything like that. I think I’ve become Human Cockroach. Kafka wrote about it but I used to think it was a joke or huge exaggeration. And sadly there is not even a trace of struggle here. I could really appreciate it, struggle equals life. Instead I’m trapped in airless wastelands. Why I’m still alive, when all hope is long gone, that’s truly a mystery to me.