I’m certain I’m not the only 24 year old out there with a depression issue but I’d like to try and figure this out. I am relativly successful. I recently got out of the military and started college and am going to try and get into the nursing program. I had a lot of issues when I was around 16/17 with depression. Then I got better then again when I was 19 and living alone. I joined the military shortly there after and was fine until the extreme amount of stress was too much to handle any more after 3.5 years. Now i am here […]
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Couple Nights
My mother tuts and scolds me when I say things like how I think she and the rest of the family would have been better off without me, but I think I’m right. I’ve been a financial and emotional burden for most of my life, and now I suppose it’s mostly financial, but what does it matter.
My mom’s boyfriend flipped out on me a couple nights ago, what triggered it is still kind of a mystery, but apparently he had a real bone to pick because he screamed abuse at me for the better part of an hour. It wouldn’t bother me if none of […]
I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I […]
these past couple nights ive had dreams of my little brothers.. dreams about me and them running away from all the bad. they’re why i live. what happens when i have nothing to live for anymore? im so scared to be hurt again, so scared that i always have a negative way of looking at things. i try and find god in my life, i try to be a good person. but a good life seems so far away. why do bad things happen to good people? why am i suicidal? why does my mind race? why am i never good enough? im trying. i wish […]