I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t know what to do. I should be a functioning college student but all I can think about is death. My death. Images, thoughts, impulses, plans…attempt…and I just can’t get it to go away. taking pills didn’t even make it go away, it just made my life more miserable than ever plus this overhanging feeling that I SHOULD have died so why on earth am I STILL here??? I want to get out and I don’t know how other than a shotgun to the head. I need out. […]
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Death Images
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]