I am a late diagnosed female of Asperger syndrome. I have never had any friends. I disowned my toxic family. My marriage is in shit street. I have never been able to work for too long despite having many talents that I cannot seem to apply in the working world. I also have 3 children. 2 are autistic. Life is too difficult. I have endured far too many relationship breakdowns that I completely avoid and cannot trust people any longer. I look to my future and see nothing but loneliness, more pain, illness, and bitterness. How is it rational to want to live for that […]
Tag:
despite
Life is hard.
Nobody is looking out for your best interests.
Everyone wants to see you fail.
They want you to kill yourself.
They want you to be at your absolute worst.
The closer they have to be to you, the more malicious the intent.
Good Luck.
Without it you will fail.
I’m slowly coming to honest terms with myself; that despite all the effort, I can’t fix this whole thing. This weight problem. It drags me down both physically and figuratively. I feel cross with myself all the time: why can’t I successfully diet? Why can’t I stick to a plan religiously? The universe doesn’t want me to be happy, and I’m not going to fight back anymore. It’s sickening, how polluted my mind is. Fat. Food. Carbs. Weight. Fat. Not good enough. Disgusting. I don’t know how much longer before wanting to die becomes needing to die. I can’t fucking wait for […]
12 hours to go
You win, I was too wrong from the beginning anyway. A gear missing the teeth and don’t fit in the machinery.
“Be yourself, it’s all you need”
Of course there is the big probability chance, that everything else around you, don’t want or agree with your self, so you will have to let them mold, shape, change and fix you, so you can fit in, and get to be yourself, they can accept. But hey doesn’t matter, as long as you just “be yourself”
“You can’t be lonely if you’re not alone”,
and if you’re alone, well then it’s your own fault.
Don’t worry, […]
TL;DR
I did something stupid today
How is it, that we just can’t help doing things, we know, we will regret after, be it little or big things.
Even things from the past, that we should learn from, we always manage to do again, despite knowing we will end up regretting it badly.
Not a big thing, not like other mistakes that have been made, but still.
I went to the store today, don’t know why, didn’t really need it, knew it would be a problem, still did it.
First 50 yards wasn’t bad, then as I got near, and the people started to appear, I could […]
…and the people who frequent it, the drifters, the lurkers, the class-clowns, the drama queens, and everyone in-between. I may not post much, but I read, or at least skim over, most of the posts here. Why do I find what depressed and suicidal people have to say so fascinating? Ugh, idk man. Probably because I’m crazy too. Whatever the case may be, SP has been a weird sort of bastion for me, so I thought I’d throw this out there.
Here’s to Shep, the Kiwi of many names, inspiring many a pondering and many a laugh with thought-provoking posts and witty comments alike. Introduced […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
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