Wow, I haven’t been on here in forever…my life has definitely changed for the better. But, lately…I’ve been extremely down and I just seem more irritated with absolutely anyone/everything. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and depression, but I think the bi-polar is what causes the depression part..my life is alright, but something within me is missing. I have no excitement for life really and society just keeps getting more shitty. I don’t trust a lot of people, and the older I get, it seems the more and more I turn away from being a people person. Genuine people are hard to come across these […]
Tag:
disorder
I suffer from dysthymia, or persistent depressive disorder as it’s called now. I’ve been like this since I was 13, so for 20 years I’ve been in this continuous depressed state, with the occasional bouts of major depression. I’ve been on meds for 10 years.
Sometimes I think maybe my natural state of being is depressed and the meds are just some sort of weight suppressing my true state. When I think this way I accept my depression. I accept I will never be happy. I accept I will never be loved. I have no hopes, wants or dreams. This is what I am. What I […]
So much self doubt that I will survive these suicidal urges. Even my therapist is really worried about me. I can’t get suicide off my mind. Lately some issues have resurfaced that have caused me to start burning again and have me thinking of suicide almost constantly. These issues include relationships(romantic),fear of abandonment/rejection,boundaries,self hatred,etc…I keep having dreams/nightmares about suicide and think about suicide all day long. I watch videos on how to do it,videos about people who have committed suicide,videos about people who have survived suicide attempts and listen to songs about suicide. Several times lately I have had the knife to my wrist ready […]
I’ve been coping since the middle of December. I just can’t get past everything that has happened.
I was sexually abused from age 9-12 by my father’s half-brother. At 18, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder, for which I was in a state psychiatric facility. While I was a patient there, I was on a pass (meaning I could leave the hospital premises, which that time I was for a week). On the last full day, I was raped by someone who I knew and was a childhood friend. I refuse to tell my family about the rape because they […]
Well, to be honest, I didn’t think I needed to be.
Since the last time I attempted suicide, I was feeling better. I still had mental health problems and I think I always will have but they calmed down. At least, on the suicide note they did. But my depression had been getting worse in a different way- I could barely get out of bed, I couldn’t bring myself to wash, eat or drink anything until I was offered, I couldn’t bring myself to change out of my pyjamas. I was a complete mess and still am.
My anxiety was getting worse too, but in a different […]
Really sucks when you tell your family that you are suicidal and the first words out of their mouth is “you’ll burn in hell”. WTF!!! That’s the furthest thing from my mind when i’m holding the razor blade to my wrist. She did not even ask me why I want to do it and still hasn’t. That was over a week ago and I saw her today and told her again my suicidal urges are growing stronger. Even told her about my dreams I have been having where I go to my own funeral after I commit suicide. Still nothing. I am not telling my […]
Self-diagnosis is stupid, but: I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I have all of the symptoms, which began to develop at age 11 or so…
I am one of the strangest, most pathetic people I know.
I unambivalently want to die. I’m 32. I’m getting married in five days. I have been diagnosed with a mood disorder as well as a personality disorder. I have sacrificed so many things on the altar of mental illness: serious relationships, a career, contact with family, financial stability, dignity. Few people know how horrible I feel most of the time. I work in the mental health field & should take better care of myself. I don’t take any meds or do many of the things that I could do to help myself feel better. Sometimes I think that I’ve become so inured to the pain associated […]
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