I’ve been trying not to talk about my personal life, but my therapy appointment kind of devastated me this morning and I need to talk somewhere. The counselor said that hospitalization might be a good idea, but the devastating part is that this is one of my “good days”. If a professional thinks that an average day in my life is “worthy of hospitalization”, then it’s fair to question my overall well being.
I feel as if I’m on death’s doorstep right now…
Tag:
Doorstep
The day I’ve been waiting for is almost here. My method of release is almost on my doorstep and the pain and depression will disappear! ECT didn’t work, group sessions didn’t work. My previous 2 suicide attempts didn’t work. Both my hospitalizations didn’t work. The time is now. I’m so happy and nervous at the same time because I know for certain this time, I’m surely going to die.
Through this graceless ravaging tempest
You seek to forsake this pitiful flesh
As you attempt a hopeless and doomed extrication
It clings to you with gladiator determination
You remain grotesquely animated
Choiceless, as your pain throbs unabated
Decaying within a merciless incarceration
Demonic phantoms do a deathly dance in your mind
Creating these hideous nightmares for you to find
On the despairingly glorious doorstep of hate
A gate guarantees elusively infinite escape
Bloodless corpses swirl through the mist
Promising a torture more fulfilling than this
Entranced, you eagerly stumble towards the howling wraiths
There is no hope in hell
No comfort when you fell
But purgatory is […]