I’ve been fighting off my own severe depression for 29 years, rather successfully, with an attitude that depression isn’t real, and thoughts about ending my life are just me being weak and unable to handle problems. But this tactic worked better when I was younger with opportunity ahead of me and the “my future will be bright” keeping me going; now that I’m 29, over educated and underemployed, fighting off depression with sheer will is becoming harder and harder, and the suicidal plans come easier and are more realistic and acceptable in my mind.
It’s less than day to day now; it’s hour to […]
Tag:
Early Adulthood
I have nothing left, and I’m too damned old to start over. Getting to this point was painful enough, and I’m not going to put myself through it again. My username says it all. Continuing is exhausting and often painful, and I just don’t have the strength any more. I’ve lost all credibility at work, and with some reason. My skills have deteriorated and my memory is so bad that my knowledge is usually inaccessible. At home my wife has stopped all sexual activity, disapproves of nearly everything I do, and it certainly seems to me that I am only an income and an unreliable […]