fighting insanity

The depression, the insanity, it all hit me hard, down into the ground. It all started happening again a month ago. I was doing better. I have become worst than I have been in months.  The voices in my head became louder, the nightmares became horrid, the blade is waiting there for me, AND the stress just sitting there own my shoulders. “Maryjane” has been my only friend there for me. I just cant do whatever this is anymore. I don’t even  know what to do anymore. I wish I had the courage to eventually to just end it all. But, I’m hanging in there.