My tear soaked pillow mourns the absence of drought
The piles of tissues in the corner regret their existence
My heart begs to beat again and feel the warm embrace
The confusion sets in with unbearable force
If only I were perfect would you like me? Would you come back?
Would you realize that your words sting like sandpaper?
Or when I cry it feels like acid
If only you understood what really happened
If you could only listen
Hear my frail cries
If I were different
Would you notice?
Or would it matter to you if I wasn’t there at all.
I […]
Tag:
frail
I cracked a smile this week – some things are such a good distraction.
A positive thought or two, but I feel too mentally frail and tired to act.
And now I am back to my misery and despair.
Perhaps I can stay distracted until I fade away.
My username, effystonem, is based on Effy Stonem, a character from the British television show Skins. It’s truly a great show and if you watch it you’ll enjoy, I’m sure. Effy is a main character in the second generation of Skins, although she does show up in a few episodes in the first generation. Effy is completely relatable; at least I think she is. She’s quiet, dark, an alcoholic and drug addict. And she’s only 16. She’s drop dead gorgeous on the show, although her personality tends to repel people. She’s just a girl who bottles up all her emotions in this tiny, frail body. […]
The tip of the blade touches my skin
My body shrieks for me to stop
But with my heart aching so
My mind tells me to carry on
I push the blade hard against my frail skin
The tears fall delicately like the melancholy of rain droplets
Yet as I pull the stainless steel up my arm
My emotions are gone, I just feel numb
I ardour watching as my skin torn asunder
Almost […]
I am much too frail for this world.
I see I am alive for nothing. I don’t think I’d ever be able to kill myself, but most of the time it feels as if I am sticking around only to please the people that care for me. I am not living for me, I am living for them.
I am also accustomed to existing. Old habits die hard.