I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me. Â I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]
Tag:
Last Thought
Suicide is the only answer for me, don’t bother telling me otherwise, I’ve tried and failed before but I haven’t changed my mind. I’ve been unhappy and apathetic for as long as I can remember regardless of how hard I’ve tried to push myself or the different things I’ve tried. I just want the pain to go away, it’s really unbearable at times. I think about bad times in my life, about God, about all the bad people in the world, how bad the world is, how worthless I am, and often enough I picture myself dying in gruesome ways. I end up crying, shaking, […]
In my dream death is everywhere.
Old decrpit buildings covered in filth, with shattered windows, and battered remnants tower before me.
No matter which way I turn my eyes see only rot.
Barely any souls here as I walk alone on this dismal planet.
The Earth is littered with black ooze, squirming and gestating something I can not and dare not bare to imagine.
The black ooze begins to screech and shriek  even though they have no mouths.
I scream as I cover my ears, but it does nothing to block out the foul and horrid sounds.
Like a horrible siren only a hundred times worse.
Somehow I manage to escape this awful wailing.
Thousands of black creatures that swarm like locust cover […]