Wandering the world aimlessly, I continue to descend, faster and faster as I feel the wind in my hair. I see all the faces along the way, all the hurt, all the desires, all the love, all the moments. Little moments in each box, like presents waiting to be opened on Christmas morning. Presents that will be lost for all eternity. Deeper and deeper I dive into my slumber, into the depths of my mind, the depths of my soul, into the center of the earth and beyond. Everything engulfs me and swallows me whole and I become one once again. Each time I dream […]
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reality
I’ve seen throughout my life a reoccurring cop out argument and honestly the only argument happy go lucky people bring to the table. Well its your “choice” if you want to be miserable. “That’s your choice to look at things that way instead of my way, and that’s why you’re miserable.” That’s basically saying there’s only one mindset that works in this world and that’s whatever the hell works for them which they always fail to explain. Are you kidding me? Really if you think about it that’s the same sort of logic that homophobes use towards gays, “your lifestyle and sexuality is a choice, and […]
“If we refuse assent to reality: if we rebel against the nature of things and choose to think that what we at the moment want is the centre of the universe to which everything else ought to accommodate itself, the first effect on us will be that the whole universe will seem to be filled with an inexplicable hostility. We shall begin to feel that everything has a down on us, and that, being so badly treated, we have a just grievance against things in general. That is the knowledge of good and evil and the fall into illusion. If we cherish and fondle that […]
Sometimes I think reality is a dream. A bad dream. Even though this is really vivid & I can feel every little thing, I think, maybe if it all ended, I’ll wake up in a better life. I’m just in some coma, living another life in my dream. That’s what I tell myself. Reality is the most scary thingeverybody has to face. Judgement is literally a thing. Every day, I make my “painting” better by adding more lines to it, hoping I’ll wake up. The more I paint, the more I wanna be a heartless person or just end this pain. I think the sabotage […]
Everyone needs someone at some point or the other. Who will make sure they are okay. That they are not falling apart. Someone who can hear all the heart has to say. Not to give solutions, but only to hear, to feel what’s going on inside you.
I have waited for long. And so many times I heard voices. Shadows looming up. Hope starts knocking. Yet I have accepted being empty handed. Empty then, empty now.
Sometimes, work absorbs me. Or else, I try to forget myself in others’ lives. Anything, but to feed that hope. It is a mirage. I know. But I too have […]
Ever had those moments where you wish something never happened or regretted something bad you really did, and you wish you could start over and erase those past mistakes? I don’t mean to sound like a *****, but it will never happen. I nearly fail to realize it every day and I still think about all the bad things I did and about the times where I screwed up, and never realized the effect it will have on me in the future. Those bad memories and mistakes come back to haunt me everyday, and I feel sad and I always have a burning desire to […]
It’s petrifying how little from the world truly exists: only the now.
Such a narrow flickering glimpse.
The past is memory. The future is simulation. And they are both occurring in the now, the recalling of the memory, the playing of the simulation. Aren’t they?
But the mind refuses to admit it. The mind finds this microscopic now terribly boring. How can you compare this skimpy moment to the vastness of the past and the future? it asks.
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