Well I’ve lasted the night out, and half of the day so far. Except I can’t help but realize what a danger I am to myself. When I get suicidal, I become irrational, and as soon as a little bit of rationality gets into my brain, even if I am still suicidal, I become afraid of myself. I become afraid of what I can and will do to myself. Others don’t scare me, I don’t have monsters in my closet, because I am that very monster that haunts myself. Even today I’ve tried to jump off stairs countless times already hoping I would hurt myself. […]
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