I have been laying her for at least 10 hours. I thought it was gonna be an easy night. But of course the voices in my head say otherwise. I look at my dog in envy as he just lays there. I wanna go to sleep. I haven’t had a dream in soooo long. Maybe one day I will. One day it will just be a really long dream that’s perfect just for me. Or is that what heaven is? Maybe on days on earth is just a nightmare and when we wake up…Or what if its just some type of limbo where its just […]
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Sleepless Nights
Maybe it’s just me over thinking. Maybe it’s just my imagination. Maybe it’s just the memories. Maybe it’s just the voices in my head and the demons inside of me. Every night I undergo a spell that won’t set me free even when the sun rises and the dark is supposed to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want my demons to drown, but sadly they know how to swim..
I roll to my other side to be greeted by an empty bed once more. The imprint of your body still engrave in the mattress. The smell of your cologne and stale cigarette smoke, from long sleepless nights, still lingers in the air. A bottle of cheap liqueur solitarily stands on that old mahogany dresser. Clothes strewn across the room from lust filled endeavours, fueled by the cheap elixir of love. The shattered remains of our love lays in pieces on the floor, alongside the broken china. I lay here an wonder what it was all for?
I somehow manage to drag myself from our un-matriomonial […]
Life to me is just unhappiness i dont like being here really… Nobody has done anything to make me feel this way i just dont see the point in a meaningless unhappy life full of anger and depression… Im 14 and most people just say to me that i will be fine its just school and its stressful but school isnt a problem at all. I have friends and family that care about me but i never seek help from them because i dont like contact with other people, i like being alone by myself so i lock myself away.
I constantly question myself about my […]
More often than not, I think about what really drives me to wake up every morning. Is it the fact that my mom, a beautiful image of a once glamorous singer, wakes me up to kiss me and bring me breakfast in bed every morning? Is it my adorable boyfriend who still spits the image of an angelic baby, yet strikes me as a mature young man? Is it the compliments I get from my teachers each time a class would end? I really don’t know. All I know is that I haven’t really been happy. For the past year, I’ve woken up to the […]
So I had me an hour of sleep, awesome. Got to plaster on some emotions so I can blend into this dark landscape that’s my life and carry on one more day.
i try. i try to hold on to you. this pain is just to real. there is so much that time cannot erase. my wonds wont seem to heal. you presence is just too much for me to bare. i try to hold onto your hand and let you say everything will be ok. sometimes you are speachless. not knowing what to say. sometimes when your not around i get into a deep depression and i wish you were here to give me a hug and promise you will stay with me forever. as i think about my past i begin to cry. sleepless nights […]