Life is a gift for anyone who can afford to live it

I am 22yo, I guess I always battled with suicide. I was unfortunately born into a poor and under achieving family. I on the other hand was praised since very young for having a superior intellect. I was given the label of GIFTED child. Not that this was a good thing because it really wasnt. As I grew older I was forced (because of my sociok-economic status) to interact with the wretches of society, people who saw a keen mind as something to attack rather then praise……I was beaten battered emotionally and physically in school. I had little friends. I WISHED MORE THEN ANYTHING TO NOT BE SMART. TO BE NORMAL. When I realized I was stuck with what I got then the suicide thoughts kicked in……i would read about history and brave warriors of the past dying in glorious battles. I wished more then anything to die but die with honor. So I turned to the military… I figured finally a place without Bullshit somewhere where your brain and your courage count…………BOY WAS I WRONG. I cancelled my enlistment because it became obvious to me that the military was full of idiots and liars who are totally without honor. I have tried to succeed and I have plans upon plans to become a success but because I am poor I CANT MAKE THEM WORK………. and it pisses me off! I have had so many chances to hit it big even at the age of 22 and I have had to let them slip because I am short of money. ITS A CURSE ……….I HAVE ALL THE MIND AND DRIVE IN THE WORLD AND NO RESOURCES WITH WHICH TO MAKE IT WORK. I am done……….seriously………life is stupid, its great for those few lucky enough to be born into a comfortable setting but for the rest of us it just sucks. I hate it I really do……… people say that life is unfair………thats not really true…….life is incredibly fair………….its people that create inequality. But whatever…. its all a big game and I dont want to play anymore.