well it started yesterday when i had decided to take maybe about 7 left over tylenol and some green pills, i think they were aleeve. then i asked mom to bring me home some asprin and i took about i think 8 of those. today i went on ahead and took about 30 more asprin and later today im taking 30 more asprin. im thinking about taking the whole bottle but ill just wait maybe until i finish writing this. ive finaly decided to just do it instead of talking about it because in reality no one else can feel your pain or what your going through. no one can understand and try and help you. they dont know shit becides my name being anthony kimble and maybe thats all they know. im tired of people saying “i can help you” when they cant realy help themselves. and even when i ask them how can they realy help me they ge quiet and confused trying to think up a lie. well i dont care anymore but i thank you for caring enough i guess to want to talk. anough is anough you know. just let me do this and be happy for the first time in years. cant you understand that ive never been this happy in a while. yeah i know god doesnt like this and im just giving up but look at it from the other side. when youve been in the same old tunnel for years and see no light even when you decide to carve yourself a new path you still end up in the dark going no where. for some people out there, there is no escape from the drugs, from the abuse of their parents, from the bad situations, and from being so poor. some of us try everything but still we cant succeed. we try going to school, going into the military, or even go as far as living the way god wants us to live and still we find ourselfs in the same old place filled with the same things that once haunted us. killing our pride, determination, respect, and most of all killing ourselves.  life may not change but i can. i can change if i want to struggle again and agian with same promblems over and over. i dont know how much time i have but i would like to say one last thing for everyone out there. you can only make our situations worse by the way you chose to approach it. go home and be with your kids, your husband or your grandma and tell them that you love them and explain to them whats going on. instead of wasting time like im doing on the computer sobbering away before i die. take some time out to incourage someone or visit them, maybe go to the park. we dont need counseling we just need friends, someone who cares anough to cancel work and come see whats wrong. we dont need doctors we need the love that was once preasent in our lives. somehow someway we all go through this and just remember what this 20 year old guy said on suicideproject.com that tomorrow could be the last time youll see him or her. all my suicidal buddies out their, i will always love and respect you no matter what. i know how you feel, i probably wont in about another 30 minutes but i understand pal. remember that even though your going through a lot of pain think twice before killing yourself. ive been dealing with this ever since i was a little boy. getting beat like jesus christe by my mom eveytime i messed up. then always getting in trouble at school. i had no friends and was always picked on whenever the other kids felt like taking out some stress using me as a body bag. i would like to wake up tomorrow free of trouble and worries. free from depression and from animosity. people can be so cruel that theyll turn this bright and sunny day into a thunderstorm and cause me to take shelter in my room for days. but now im happy to say that im not gonna let them turn my skies black anymore. instead of talking about it im actualy doing it. taking pills may not be the best solution but it sure as hell made me find that there is a such thing as happiness. i only thought stuff like this was only in the movies and in those rich neighborhoods but ive actually fill happy. i wish all my fellow suiciders well and peace on your life and i hope you find someone who can talk or help you out of this but always remember that Anthony Kimble isnt just some crazy suicidal maniac but a guy who spoke the truth. Peace!!!
10 comments
Anthony? do you think you could help me? if you are willing to do so, could you please respond? i am waiting…. please….?
Anthony….. ? hey, don’t mean to bother you but i would like to know if you can help me….
hey this is anthony, help you with what Ann O. Nimus?
Hey, Anthony. Thanks for sharing what you are going through. It takes a lot of courage to face that kind of stuff. It sounds like you’ve experienced a whole lot of pain in your life. You mention how people don’t understand and you haven’t found anyone who can really help. People may not understand but I hope you know there are people out there who are willing to listen (crisis lines etc. – there are links on this site). I apologize if you already know that but I wanted to remind you cuz sometimes it’s hard to see everything when we lose hope. Maybe you could give them a try before you make such a big decision like killing yourself and if those are some of the places that you have already tried, how about trying another one?
yo Anthony what up man?
I am 19 years old and feel the same way you do. i would love to talk to you about it. just try to find some hope in someone that feels the same way as me you know. get back to me man, i need it. thanks
are you still there anthony?
if you are would you please email me at outdinsun@yahoo.com
thank you and i really hope you can get back to me…please
anthony? my 21 year old son surrendered his life 82 days ago….. no one ever saw a sign on him, never…. why?
i apologyze for the delay in replying
It’s really bad when i feel the comfort and peace he speaks about. It’s peace from all this stuff. Thats what i want, i know i’m getting closer. I,m glad I read that. You can talk and talk but it never helps. He is just so on target with how i feel and what i really want to feel. Peace.
Ok I’ve tried taking pills but all I got in return was some bad kidneys and a bad syomach problam. Well I’m giving up and just living life. Those of you who would want to listen to my boring life stories email me at virgak47@yahoo.com. I’m ok for now but I think I have to go the hospital because my kidneys may be worse than I think thet are. I realize that it does hurt. It hurts to live so it will hurt to die.
Everyone needs a hero in there life, maybe a role model or two. I found a great person to start this journey with. I know deppression better than the other guy and I may not hace done it all but I’ve either tried or thought about it. Everyone out there I would like to be that role model or hero to be on your side. To listen when no one else will and to take time out of my schedule to be there. I’ve went through depression and there is no reason why you have to indure it yourself, alone and frustrated. I’m here to help. For those who have read my story, the one above, yes it is true a long time ago I tried killing myself and now I found a hero before I almost died on the floor in my home. I remember waking up and hearing a voice calmly saying not yet. Dieing is a way of saying I’m tired and right now I havnt done enough work in my life to be tired or give up. Yeah getting hit by a car or dieing of cancer is different but consider this, your body is constantly fighting even while you are sleep. In cases like these it gives up and of course once this happens you die. I’m not giving up yet not until I have no choice. I would like for the reader to email me doing your tough times. Rather your poor, don’t have friends, dealing with death of someone close to you, or your dreams have been destroyed. I can help I promise, my heart is filled with love and compassion for you and my arms are open. I know you might not want to hear some jesus crap or some sad story about myself because once again I’ve been where you are at just a little while ago. Email me at virgak47@yahoo.com and I promise I won’t just treat you like some charity case. Let me try to be your hero or at least show you a better way. Hey look at me, I’m 20 years old, starting my own buisness and rich. But I don’t care about those things but I found that the only thing that makes me happy these days is seeing you happy. Seeing you with a smile on your face gives me a more better reason to not end my life early. Keep your head up and stay strong, you wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for that something in your life worth holding on to. Mine is you