Andy promised me the sun and the moon.Â He was great at first.Â Â He helped me with my car and home repairs.Â He helped my kids with their homework while I cooked dinner.Â Â He taught them how to swim.Â Â He taught them how to build a tent and how to do yard work.
But,Â Andy was a lie.Â Â He showed his true colors very quickly.Â Andy was so into himself.Â He was grandiose,Â schemy,Â and must have been bored out out his mind.Â He was king of the couch.Â Â Â Â He turned into the tyrant on the couch.Â He had a bad temper.
He lived with me for 4 1/2 years.Â Â It only lasted that long because I realized it will take the police to get him out.Â I had the police remove him in Oct.Â 1997.Â Â He committed sucide by March 2004.Â Â Only 7 years later.
I never imagined that he would be the type to take his life.Â I thought he was too selfish to grace the world without his presence.
He demanded attention.Â He demanded respect.Â He demanded a clean house, and home cooked meals.Â He’s not going to help,Â yet he expects it for him. Â He jumped and screamed,Â from his perch on the couch,Â when others didn’t work as hard as he thought they should.
He would get off the couch long enough to sneak around and pull stunts.
He would mess with me while I was busy with chores.Â He threw the coins from my kid’s piggy bank around the living room. Â I didn’t get that it was him doing it. Â I kept on picking up the change before I could vaccum. Â I was getting more angry every time I found that change on the floor,Â and I was yelling at my kids. Â After the fourth time I threw the change away. Â It never occurred to me that it was him doing it — until later — when I connected the dots.
He locked me in the basement one time.Â I was carrying a double basket of laundry up the stairs.Â He locked the door and he let me sweat it out thinking I was locked in basement.Â Â I screamed and banged and screamed and banged.Â Â Finally the door opened.Â There he stood with that sheepish look on his face like he thinks he is cute.
Another time he sneaked up behind me while I was unpacking groceries.Â He opened the freezer door so when I stood up,Â I smacked my head into the freezer door.Â I was knocked silly. Â It hurt so bad, Â and I yelled at him.Â He looked passive and said that he said “excuse me”.Â Â Â No he didn’t.Â He had sneaked up.
He yelledÂ and screamed when he wanted to be heard.Â He sneaked up as quiet at a mouse to open that freezer door.
He would talk over my phone conversations with sister.Â Andy was drowning us out.Â I couldn’t hear her.Â Â She couldn’t hear me.Â Â Â Â Sis finally told me that she will be willing to talk when Andy is not home.Â Â Â She stated that he is controlling our conversations,Â Â Â and that she WILL NOT be controlled by Andy.
Andy would steal money out of the bank with the ATM card.Â Â Â I would find it out when I cleaned out the truck and found a ATM receipt from that morning.Â Â Â Â Andy said I must have done it.Â Â He said I must have been sleep walkingÂ and took that money out at 5:00 am.
He would shake up a beer, while he was walking towards me,Â then he would open it.Â Â He sprayed beer in my face just as I was heading out the door for parent/teacher conference.Â Â He also did this to me on other occasions when I had to meet family,Â or anything important.
I believe he was out to make me look unfit.
He began to call me unfit years later.Â After I had the police remove him.Â Â I stupidly allowed our son to visit his dad in Michigan.Â Â Andy refused to bring him back.Â Â I had to file in court.Â Â Andy attempted to gain full custody.
He said I am a drunk,Â a drug addict,Â Â and a unfit mother. He asked for random alcohol testing at the will of the person accusing.
All were unfounded.
I begged the guardian et litum (who got appointed)Â Â to ignore his request.Â Â I told her that he will use this to control me.Â He will try to sleep in my bed with me in it.Â And when I tell him no —Â he will say I have been drinking.Â I would have to go through the hassle ofÂ alcohol testing.Â Â At any time of day or night.Â Â I begged the guardian et litem to NOT give him that power.
He did not get that power. Â He did not show up for the last court hearing.Â I got my son back.
Andy began using our son’s identity.
He used it to get rent and utilities.
When I found this out, Â I got on the internet to hunt him down.
A few months after I tracked himÂ on internet he took his life.
It almost seems like I cornered him like a animal.
I am still floored. Â Â A man who is so pompous, Â so self-rightous, Â takes his life.
And,Â it was the way he did it.
He leaped off the fourth floor of the Detroit casino parking structure.Â Â Â He had stolen money out of his mothers bank account to gamble that night.Â He stole over $6000.Â He lost at gambling.Â He jumped after theÂ parking structure camera zoomed away. Â Â He dove head first onto the concrete sidewalk below.Â He was found with pocket change.Â Â The police told me this.
I had to tell my little boy that his father is gone.
He must have been bored out of his mind laying on that couch.Â He didn’t appear to be depressed.Â Â He was very active with his temper.Â Â He looked fixated on the tv whiile laying on that couch,Â Â yet his mind was very calculating.Â Â Â Was he too smart for his own good?Â Â Or was it that he lost his control over me?Â Â Â Maybe after me he couldn’t find another to control another completely.Â Â What a shallow life