I don’t know what to do anymore. Here’s why:
1: I’m a SI (self-injurer) and I just cannot seem to stop. No matter how hard I try. I have scars everywhere. I feel like a freak. I try to hide the scars, but everyone in school keeps asking me if I’m EMO. I hate it!!!
2: I have Anorexia Nevosa. I hate it!!! I just want to be beautiful. But when I look in the mirror……..all I see is this fat, ugly, horrible person. It never goes away!!! I never seem to sleep, even though I know I do. My aunt makes me eat. She’s been so hard on me since I told her. It’s ruining my life!!!
3: There’s a voice………in my head. It keeps whispering to me. It says: “Your a fat pig” We’ve worked hard for this, don’t give up” “One more pound and you’ll look like an elephant” “Everybody hates you” “YOur mother hates you” “Your a slut, *****, and a whore”. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!
4: The kids at school are horrible. Since I’m out in school, they treat me like shit. Like I don’t have feelings. Like I’m…….immortal. I hate it!!!! I hate them!!!! GOD!!!!
5: My aunt keeps telling me that I don’t want help. That I want people do to my work for me. Blah, blah, blah. She criticizes me all the time. She criticizes my own mother too!!!!
God!!! I don’t know what to do!!! I just wanna go crawl in a hole and die!!! I want all of this to just GO AWAY!!! I wanna die!!!! I know my life isn’t as bad as it seems. But I’ve writen other posts about my past. I’m…….just………..depressed!!! And nobody seems to listen!!!! NOBODY!!!! GOD!!!! I tried to commit suicide a couple of weeks ago. But it didn’t work. IDK. I just want all of this to go away!!!!
3 comments
i know how you feel, i used to cut myself everyday, and it’s hard to hide it, my mom and some guys from school saw the scars and gave me a lot of shit for that….. i also have an eating disorder, one day i can’t control myself and i eat anything i can find, and the next day i don’t eat at all…
i really don’t know how to get out of this, so the only thing i can tell you is that you are not alone and there’s a lot of people going through the same thing
i understand ,
i know how hard it is i am a self hammer also , and i have suffired from belimia… some times all i need is someone to talk to some on to be a freind i gueesss… and it saves my life.
you ever need someon to talk to
cassiesmith7@live.ca
hello,
The other day i tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose on some pills like advil (ETC..) and all of the food i ate got thrown back out
today after my Sofball pratice i got home and ate but then threw up again i was 120 pounds but no ive gone down to 110
I cut myself too ,my boyfriend gives me crap about that too
My mom thinks im too over-dramtic and “imagining” about this whole depressed feeling
I’m not pretending she has seen 2 sucidal notes from me
but now i think that overdose is effecting me pretty badly but im still alive
Be strong…Eating disorders suck…being depressed sucks too