I spent time in an adult crisis unit after a suicide attempt. My doctor tried to avoid the hospital. I got out this last Friday. Since I came home, not one of my friends have asked me how I’m doing. Maybe I’m selfish, but I just want someone to ask. I can’t keep doing this by myself, and no one cares. I’m not upset with them, though. I’m such a burden to them, and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t blame them for being scared of me, because I wouldn’t know what to say to me, either.
While I was there and demanding to be discharged, a nurse brought me a notebook and a pen. I was supposed to write down a list of reasons to live. I could’ve filled the whole book up with a list of reasons to die, but I couldn’t think of any to live. This is a low point to be, and I’ve never felt worse in my life. I’ve thought about suicide before, and I’ve even attempted it in the past, but I didn’t even feel as bad then as I do now. I don’t know what to do…
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Somethings happened to me recently that, if anything, has strengthened my resolve to commit suicide. I haven’t been this down for ages; if feels like my heart is breaking and my mind about to crack, it just doesn’t seem worth it in the long run… life really does equal pain. =(
Shelly, i would have to say, lfe really does equal pain, isn’t all that true. Of course life wont be easy. Its not supposed to be. There will be the bad times yet good too. Some dont have it as bad, but this is life: life isn’t supposed to be fair. But things eventually look up, you gota put the effort into doing so.
If you want to talk to me, please come and do so. [the writer of the post]. I’ll be here anytime.
(silly.snowball@Yahoo.com)
at least u have friends.
Thanks hon; but I’ve made up my mind, I’m tired as hell of this greying little world and its stupid little humans… and besides, I’m doing the environment a favour by killing myself. Cuz honestly; I’m a useless loser anyway, so at least I’ll be doing one good thing in my life as I die… it’s just a shame my friends and family will be hurt in the process, but then I’m a burden on them too, so maybe it’s for the best in the long run anyway… who knows? =(
You have quite a mindset, there, shelly
Painterofmusic….
“I spent time in an adult crisis unit after a suicide attempt. My doctor tried to avoid the hospital.”
—-Now that’s uncommon…
“I got out this last Friday. Since I came home, not one of my friends have asked me how I’m doing.”
—Maybe they don’t know how to ask, or just don’t know how to respond to your behavior. Don’t doubt their love for you, maybe they are just cautious/confused.
“Maybe I’m selfish, but I just want someone to ask. I can’t keep doing this by myself, and no one cares. I’m not upset with them, though.”
—-I totally understand, you just want to know that someone cares for you. To me- You aren’t asking for much. Just a “How are you?” or a “Do you feel okay?” every now and then would be nice….
“I’m such a burden to them, and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t blame them for being scared of me, because I wouldn’t know what to say to me, either.”
—-Have you tried talking to them about how this has made you feel? Do you talk to them at all?
“While I was there and demanding to be discharged, a nurse brought me a notebook and a pen. I was supposed to write down a list of reasons to live.I could’ve filled the whole book up with a list of reasons to die, but I couldn’t think of any to live.”
—-I could also think of a book full of reasons to die, but sometimes it is not about the amount on the list, but the weight. One reason to live (such as family) can outweigh a page of reasons to die.
“This is a low point to be, and I’ve never felt worse in my life. I’ve thought about suicide before, and I’ve even attempted it in the past, but I didn’t even feel as bad then as I do now. I don’t know what to do…”
—-You need someone to talk to, and I am here for you…
email: stolenname123@yahoo.com
If you don’t get in touch with me, I hope that you realize that life is worth living…and that killing yourself is going to be the biggest mistake of your (after)life.