Help

November 23rd, 2009by painterofmusic

I spent time in an adult crisis unit after a suicide attempt. My doctor tried to avoid the hospital. I got out this last Friday. Since I came home, not one of my friends have asked me how I’m doing. Maybe I’m selfish, but I just want someone to ask. I can’t keep doing this by myself, and no one cares. I’m not upset with them, though. I’m such a burden to them, and I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t blame them for being scared of me, because I wouldn’t know what to say to me, either.

While I was there and demanding to be discharged, a nurse brought me a notebook and a pen. I was supposed to write down a list of reasons to live. I could’ve filled the whole book up with a list of reasons to die, but I couldn’t think of any to live. This is a low point to be, and I’ve never felt worse in my life. I’ve thought about suicide before, and I’ve even attempted it in the past, but I didn’t even feel as bad then as I do now. I don’t know what to do…

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