As of most cases, I started to think about the ex. I think what most people hate is the “what ifs” in life. You know that you should move on and just get on with your life, but sometimes it is hard to do so. This morning at work I had a panic attack (it feels like you get punched in the chest) and delieverd my newspapers with a belt around my neck. It was either the belt or thinking about the ex. I know it’s dumb. Frankly I’m just fed up with being depressed, scared and lonely. I’m sure I will feel better tommorrow.