Broken shattered and forgotten

I perfectly know how you feel. Unfortunately I know.

Nature and life are by definition unfair. Individuals vary in their living their experience of love. It mainly depends on the amount of emotional fufillment they have had while babies and children. People who have “sucked” true love from mothers and parents and relatives since birth to youth, they develop emotionally well balanced and then they are more stable in their relationships with love. They dont have “red figures” in love. They dont experience the ideas of suicide or extreme depression. When they mix with someone who is on the other side of the balance, the prospects of the relationship are calling for suffering. The emotionally poor person develops what she or he interpretes as absolute love, they would give their lives for them, their everything because in their inside now they have had unchained a tremendous input of positive emotions that roll out making life an experience of extasis. On the other side, the emotionally balanced person does not experience these extremes of feelings. He can love, of course, but it is not so much triggered by a former tremendous vacuum in their hearts.

So, you may want to place yourself in one of these kinds of persons. You say that he has made you suffer a lot. For example an emotionally balanced person does not tolerate that. They usually break up without remorse if they are made suffer once. But for the emotionally dependent, that is not possible. No matter how they are hurt. They still need that person.

The sad thing about this is that they end up worse off for the next relationship and they have yet a bigger emotional vacuum and they “love” then with more intensity because there is a lot to make up for. But they usually choose wrong. Choose driven by idealization and by pictures that they attribute to the other person. But they cannot release themselves from the other person, even if it gets to them exerting cruelty. Finally they are being dumped again and they start to remain scarred.

So, in order to understand your feelings and your prospects it would do you good to see what kind of person in terms of emotional needs you are, how your childhood was and so. If you are able to profile yourself rightly you will be able to judge objectively how you are being affected in a way that actually could have been less traumatic or can be less traumatic now that you know yourself.
Psychology lies at the core of our everything. If we dont understand it, we suffer because we only perceive the symptoms or effects but not the causes.

I have the feeling you are young. That is a great asset.

See if you can grab a paper and a pen and start describing in true the pros and cons of your boyfriend. I know, I know, you would still be driven “drunk” in swirls about the extasis of love, but, does that person really merit your suffering because he was REALLY, REALLY,AND REALLY! an angel of love?

Another thing that I dont understand is that you say that the world would be better off without your existence. It is completely the opposite. It is a bless that you exist with such a beautiful heart.

What I finally want to bring as conclusion is that it is no good that you simply let the time heal. No. You have to understand what kind of person you are in those aspects to tell the subjective from the objective. How you are being affected byt hings like that while other people would have reacted differently. Get some books about it and you will be amazed at the discoveries you are going to make. Guaranteed.

I am much worse off than you. Worse off than you will ever be. I am obviously one of those “emotionally impaired” persons who have never gotten to make it and as relationships fail the deficit has started to affect all other aspects of life. Age does not offer any possibility for repair or alternative.

You are better off.

Every person is different and pretending to compare her with your own case is wrongly aimed. That would mean being insensitive and ignorant of her particular characteristics. I think the point to work on here, and that is how I extracted it, is that she says that her boyfriend made her suffer a lot. Why would a lovely person make suffer a vulnerable person? That is the clue I took. This lead me to think that that relationship was not a healthy one but that there was a an issue of emotional dependency from one side. If he made her suffer through the relationship that does not speak much in favor of him, let alone the fact that he left her for another girl, which is despicable! because that meant he was planning or playing two cards at the same time. That is why I suggested the girl should “study” herself and understand what she is.

It shatters me again to say that “even though he dumped you, he loved you for three years” Jesus” that is precisely where the tragedy lies! because she needs that love forever! do you think that it is of any consolation at all to remember someone loved you for some time!
Let me say this: if someone really loves you. HE OR SHE NEVER STOPS LOVING. N+ E + V + E + R. True love, true, true love never stops. On the contrary, it grows everyday. Sorry about my guess but I believe most of you people here are Americans and with such a society based on just consuming goods and valueing the person from a materialistic point of view and so much focused on hedonism and pragmatism, I believe you should retake the very basic of principles and build your society again. From the American point of view, you should replace your wife if she dies by another one, because it is pragmatic. You should divorce if it is not fun anymore etc, and you should count your relationships by the aggregate function of how much time each of them “loved you”. Well, it is a big NO!
If the person I love died whether by accident or illness I would never ever replace her by anyone. That would be violating the unbrekable bond that unites me with her.

The moral of the story here again and my point is that if the boy had really true love for her, he would have never dumped her. In other words, I think that the big love for this girl is still to come.