cut my head open, spill my brains, take everyhting ive ever had. i dont care.

Today

Was horrible.

I got nasty stares from everyone of her friends.

I felt them burn my back with their hate, saying it was my fault.

Saying “go fuck yourself emo girl! Go cut and die!”

Im sorry.

I didn’t mean to hurt her, to bruise her.

I just was so hurt that a complete stranger would judge me.

Hurt me.

Break me.

The very little friends I have are now staying away so they don’t get bothered by her and her posse’

What have I done??

IM SORRY.

I wish I could work things out with her.

I feel bad, its all my fault…..

Why….???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I got home, I cried and my mother pounded on my door, insisting I grow up and “take life by the horns and kick it where it hurts.”

But I cant.

She just stared at me and locked my door.

She wouldn’t look at me at dinner, serving me dinner after the rest of the family ate.

To sit there in isolation because “Madelyn does not know how to behave herself”

Well im sorry mom.

I cant be you.

I cant be you

I cant be you.

I cant be you

I cant be you.

I CANT BE YOU DAMMIT.