Amazing I have made it this far. I hate where I am living, everyone is such a fucker I don’t care. They can truly go fuck themselves and I would be most happy. Everything I have put into this city, all the love I have tried to instill is lost. This world is full of selfish and inconsiderate people, that is the bottom line. So why should I continue? It would seem if I just faded and disappeared that would make the statement I wish: I don’t want to participate. I am not weak, just a dreamer incapable of living in this reality. If I was I wouldn’t be in such agony all of time. I just want a perfect suicide. A beautiful suicide. I have been dreaming of it my whole life. How can God judge me for achieving what I truly want? It’s rhetorical, he/it can’t, and I am coming closer to that reality.