I’ve been here, done this…. but I keep finding my way back to the thoughts of death. I have attempted twice, both (obviously) without success thanks to being “saved” both times. I was in my teens when I tried before… I’m 20 now. I know I’m not old or wise, but these thoughts…. they come back all the time. They’ve been pelting my mind for 7 years. I think about dying at LEAST once a day, sometimes only for a fleeting moment…
Before, I tried with pills. This time, I think if I do it, I’ll hang myself. I did that on accident when I was about 7, and I remember passing out quickly. I would think the worst part would be the period of time before you pass out, which really, doesn’t seem all that bad to me, since I’ve experienced it before…
That’s the scariest part. The only thing stopping me is what this would do to anyone around me…. and my fear that no one would care.
God I’m fucking pathetic. Awesome.
1 comment
Well, I think at the very least people on this site would care. Your among us and have a connection to us. I don’t think about suicide all the time because there is something important that has to be done before I die. But it sucks when it comes across my mind and its frightening, too, because I used to always rely on that one thing to convince me I shouldn’t do it. Its horrible as well because you can’t expect it; it’s just like a great weight is tossed on you. How do’ya do something like that on accident anyway, that’s tragic (but definitely not pathetic). If you need to talk, you know, just email here: sacramanianfounder@hotmail.com I’ll be interested and you never know how much better you’ll feel after writing it all down (albeit typing it all down).