just want to response to “why? living…”

  January 7th, 2010 by buraktamturk

I throught i wrote a post about myself about 1 monts ago.

Now, i am really tired so much. and I still can’t understant that. I wanna die but i can’t try that because i don’t think i can be die (with several ways). I wanna no – one cry for me (after died), and no – one can be say “he died because he failed for …”

will i in life after died?,  i think i will have pain when they cry for me. (may they can be die after i died…)

i just go school at 8 morning, i back home at 4:10. after i sleep to 8 morning. (and i still have problems, i still want to sleep at 8 morning).

LOL !, there is a no way, i will have a lot of problems in life, i am just 16.

come on !, doesn’t you feel like me? I think everypeople have that fucking shit life story ..

i think “This is not the time to belive god”, i know there is a god but i don’t care anymore. and i think i can ask “Why you make me? This is your problem.”, because i started to know something in 4 years old, i really don’t know “What we did before we born?”, if i will in hell this is not my problem, God failed at that.

If we said to God (can you make me? i wanna live), i DON’T KNOW that in right now, “if i know that, i already has good life with god”, so i can be die, w/o going hell !!!.

I think its not selfish. Its just a small plan for “saving myself from tired”.. Isn’t it? I just really need help about “what suicide method i can be done with alone w/o fail and pain”.

p.s. if you really want to help me, please never write answer (or write go to die, fucking guy ..), because that will the best for me. I am happy with myself. I am happy alone .. I am really need that

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