I am a monster I deserve to die

  February 22nd, 2010 by Adam

I broke up with my girlfriend because we were living together for a year, and she never did anything. She didn’t have a job, she sat on the couch all day smoking weed and playing video games. I worked so hard to keep us above water, but we were sinking. She’s the love of my life, and I pushed her away. To try and get over her, I fell for whoever came first. a woman with a husband and daughter, but I didn’t care. Now I am alone again. I feel nothing. I’m 24 years old, and I havent cried since i was 9 years old. That was the day I found out my dad didn’t have cancer, but was using that as an excuse to leave us. I want to jump off a bridge into the deepest darkest water I can find. Let the cold water fill my lungs, enjoy the silence around me. I hate myself, I hate this world. The only person I ever truly loved was Brooke, and I had to push her away. Now she’s moved on, I am alone, I feel nothing. Maybe in the moments before my body dies and I step into the nothingness of death, I might feel something, anything. Goodbye.

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