suicidal hate

  February 17th, 2010 by hateness

hallo. Suicidal hate. Thats how I call my tire of felling. He was the one. Actually I just was thinking that. The guy. Lets call him Meth. So, yah, I first time met him in 2006, summer. He was 18, I was 12. 6 years differences between us two. How do we met? It was because of my friend. She was always asking of who do I like from this town, so I just said the first boy who passed us then. Why? Because I was thinking, whats gonna happen, he is irish, noone knows him. It was mistake. He wasnt irish, he was perfectly talking in my language. So we met. He asked my phone number.. We were talking at night. He said he will be my own little small, week kitten. Then I gone to my country. I came back at next summer. We met again, we were always together. All those nice seconds. Then I gone again. I came back now. I still cant forgot him. But everything is different now. I am too young to him. He is 21 and I am just 16. I am too fat aswell. Now he is perfect, all those mosqules and perfectu body. So he dont need of any more even as a friend. He even doesnt talk to me. I am depressed. I dont want anything.. Dont want to eat, to go anywhere, even dont want to paint. I want to end up my life one day. I were trying., i were cutting myself hundrets and hundrets times my both hands are just scarves. I were in hospital after too much pills for sleep. Even now i have some pills hiden from myself. I have friends. I never had. My all friends these just turn away from me because i am too different for them as they said. I want some one who could listen to me.. If there is someone who could, can you text to of by email? Because if i will keep all the time everything inside i will really end up that one day somehow. Talk to me –> ryto.pardaveja[eta]yahoo.com [eta] = @

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