hallo. Suicidal hate. Thats how I call my tire of felling. He was the one. Actually I just was thinking that. The guy. Lets call him Meth. So, yah, I first time met him in 2006, summer. He was 18, I was 12. 6 years differences between us two. How do we met? It was because of my friend. She was always asking of who do I like from this town, so I just said the first boy who passed us then. Why? Because I was thinking, whats gonna happen, he is irish, noone knows him. It was mistake. He wasnt irish, he was perfectly talking in my language. So we met. He asked my phone number.. We were talking at night. He said he will be my own little small, week kitten. Then I gone to my country. I came back at next summer. We met again, we were always together. All those nice seconds. Then I gone again. I came back now. I still cant forgot him. But everything is different now. I am too young to him. He is 21 and I am just 16. I am too fat aswell. Now he is perfect, all those mosqules and perfectu body. So he dont need of any more even as a friend. He even doesnt talk to me. I am depressed. I dont want anything.. Dont want to eat, to go anywhere, even dont want to paint. I want to end up my life one day. I were trying., i were cutting myself hundrets and hundrets times my both hands are just scarves. I were in hospital after too much pills for sleep. Even now i have some pills hiden from myself. I have friends. I never had. My all friends these just turn away from me because i am too different for them as they said. I want some one who could listen to me.. If there is someone who could, can you text to of by email? Because if i will keep all the time everything inside i will really end up that one day somehow. Talk to me –> ryto.pardaveja[eta]yahoo.com [eta] = @
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First let me say I understand that you’re in a painful state. Second, I remember being sixteen, and the intensity of my emotions. It’s overwhelming, and uncontrollable at times. Don’t let anyone tell you how to look. It is not a man’s place to say that you are too fat. You just be yourself, and find your happiness. Also, if he is 21, he is in a very different place in his life and development. 21 year old men are at the peak of their young lives, and many don’t want to have girlfriends, and aren’t ready for deep love.
I know it hurts, but understand that he is in a different place than you. You’re still developing your personality, dealing with school, etc. You get to be a kid for just a little while longer, I hope you can forget him and embrace it. He clearly isn’t right for you anyway.
I hope you can find something you love to do that will help you recover from the pain of this experience.
yeah i kind of know how you feel. one of my best friends decided to ditch me and her other close friends to be with the ‘popular’ group. i admit she was funny, pretty, happy, and popular. even before she ditched me she was popular but now she won’t even talk to me. she sneered at her old close and bestfriend and she ignores her other close and bestfriend. but we moved on and you should to. this boy is just that a boy. i know you may hate me for saying it but he is just a boy. and like all women say you are an independant woman who should not be fed up about some guy. and either way your just showing him your weak . you have to get up and do something. not just sit around feeling sorry and killing yourself. and besides your their on vacation not to be hung up on the guy you like. have fun, be independant, and most of all don’t end your life. my email is makenziejackson123@yahoo.com. if you want to talk. besides he’s a jerk to ignore you.