on march 7th, it will be 7 months since i lost my soul mate to suicide. i still feel like i have no idea whats going in the world. everything is black and i cant seem to make sense of this world without him. i miss him with such a passion that sometimes i feel like my heart will never heal. does this feeling ever go away?
3 comments
it has been 274 days since my love left me. the feeling goes away when you realize it’s ok if you can’t have them. it’s ok, even if they’re all you want. it’s alright because life isn’t about wants for yourself, but rather wants for others. and yes, i want my love to be with me too, for her sake, but i just can’t have that, and that’s ok.
you can’t cope unless you realize it’s not as important as you wish it to be. i gave up my life for God because keeping it for myself only made me depressed. please talk to me – my contact info is on the website skull09.net
7 is divine, all is well with you and your mind with the departed soul. Suicide is a very personal thing. A lot of people fail to see that. But the person who suicides–or about to suicide–in many ways, is more excited than anyone living. It’s just something that occurs. Depression, sadness, crying minutes before the final act…it is still euphoric. The lead-up to the act is…well, I think Bukowski said it best. Although he wasn’t speaking of suicide, he was speaking of something very similar:
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you’ll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
try to think about the fact that maybe its what they wanted.