i dont know what to do or how to say this. i want to die. i want to just fade away. no one would care anyways. i want to just fall asleep and NEVER wake up..i wish i had the guts to do it. they say if you cant do it, or if your too scared to kill yourself, you dont really want to die?..well i think i want to die..but who knows, maybe i dont.. maybe i just want this pain to go away. but i dont know how to do that. i’ve been trying so hard lately. it makes me feel like, this pain will never go away. i want everything to get better, but it wont..i dont think it will anyways.. i am very hurt. im too depressed to try to be happy. i want to be happy. things are so bad in my life right now. i feel like some immmature baby that cant handle this on my own and im dumping my problems on the next random person that reads this.. but i cant take it anymore. i cant just keep holding it in;; and i dont have anyone to talk too.. i feel so alone.. my mom hates my guts..and to be honest, i have NO clue why even. she hits me. she cusses me. she tells me mean gorrible things. i am so hurt; shes supposed to be my mom, my protector, yet shes the one that hurts me.. i fell in love with this boy about a year and a half ago. i gave him everything. my heart,my soul, my love, my happiness, my virginity. and now, hes done? just done. and moved on.. but i still love him with all my being. i love him more than life itself. i would do anything to make him happy. so if it means he’s happy without me, i’d rather that than him be miserable with me.. iwould honestly DIE if it would make him happy. i would do anything for him. and yet, he dont even WANT me? how stupid am i? and people say “you need to move on, and get over him” its a lot harder than people think. im going to be 16 next month, and i cant take this. im not good with trying to handle problems like this. i havbe no friends anymore, becuase i push them away. i do this to myself. its like deep down, i never want to be happy. but i do. and i have started to do stupid horrible things to myself. i cut, i burn, i take pills. anything to try to make the pain go away. i cut up my arms, i’ve moved to my stomach and my thighs where people won’t see… if you seen me;; you wouldnt believe i did those things. or do dot hem. i seem like everything is fine, but deep down, im suffering. im screaming for someone to CARE. but no one will even give it a chance.. sure i talk to people..but none of them really truly care who i am or how i feel. if anyone has any advie,,pleaseee help?
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I know how you feel, honey. I wish you were near so we could talk face to face. I fell in love once, too. My husband decided it was okay to have affairs and even kids with other women. There are two, that I know of. Now, my children are grown and gone, living their own lives. They seem frustrated with me if I call them, and there is no way I can talk to them about how I really feel, so I disguise my feelings and talk to them like I am the happiest person on the earth. I have multiple sclerosis, live alone, and every single day I am alone. I don’t drive much because of dizzy spells, so I never really go anywhere at all. You need a drastic change in your life. Consider getting involved with the military or going away to school. I enlisted in the Navy in 1974, and to this very day, I wish I could go back to it. I met people, I have a purpose in life, I was truly happy. Sometimes the best fix for a misery like you have it to get away from the people, the area, and the present lifestyle. Please, give it some thought. Life can be good. It is the responsibility of each person to make his or her life good. I have found that most men are only looking for a little sex and then they are gone. You don’t really need a man in your life if you have a life of your own. I wish you the very best and hope and pray that you are able to overcome your situation and be happy.
Hey, all I can tell you is pray. If you have no one else to talk to, talk to God, or talk to the positive people on this site. They might help you. Just don’t let any of them make you think that killing yourself is the right thing to do. Throwing your life away is the worst thing to do. You can never get your life back. I’m a fifteen year old boy and I know we can be the biggest assholes around, but you cant let one guy get the best of you. I know you may hate to hear this, but take it from a boy, let him go. If he doesn’t want you, it’ll never work out. They’re alot of fish in the sea, A LOT. And as for your mom, you really need to call child protection services or tell an adult. And one more thing, stop hurting yourself. It hurt me just to read your entry. I seriously care and so do a lot of other people. You just have to find them. Take advice from the Savior.
forgive your mother, please, and your boyfriend. please forgive them, and love them unselfishly as best you can. you can become strong, stronger than every and any person who makes you sad. you can become so strong that you just want to give your strength to others because you have so much extra strength – it is possible.
my next bit of advice for you is to talk to me. my contact info is at skull09.net
please talk to me. the rest of my advice is waiting for you.
thank you for reading, please take care.
Hello there!. I can truly tell you each and every person reading this cares a lot. So we need you and we want you with us. At the age of 15 you are vulnerable, naturally it is hard to find the resources to cope with all the blows that come from your mother and from a careless boyfriend. It shatters me because always happens to the best. And the fact that you feel like this is an absolutely normal reaction. So, now what to do? First, it is essential that although you are feeling like this, know that time passes, things come and go in life, one progresses through life, meets different persons, and all this pain now is going to make a beautiful, more beautiful soul in you, which will mean that you will find a truly caring loving boyfriend. Many of us come from shattered families or from abusive parents and that has left us scarred in many ways, but also we have developed many talents in the field of sensitivity.
. If you are at school, do talk to a counselor. I mean, I wish I could be there side by side to listen, but since you may be far away, find a good counselor. Also, dont push away the good friends. Naturally again most of them, in your age will not be perceptive enough to understand you (that is why you are pushing them away) so dont blame them. If you want to chat or need, just email me, anything except staying alone. alvaro@ya.ru