i dont know what to do or how to say this. i want to die. i want to just fade away. no one wouldÂ care anyways. i want to just fall asleep and NEVER wake up..i wish i had the guts to do it. they say if you cant do it, or if your too scared to kill yourself, you dont really want to die?..well iÂ think i wantÂ to die..but who knows, maybe i dont.. maybe i just want this pain to go away. but i dont know how to do that. i’ve been trying so hard lately. it makes me feel like, this pain will never go away. i want everything to get better, but it wont..i dont think it will anyways.. i am very hurt. im too depressed to try to be happy. i want to be happy. things are so bad in my life right now. i feel like some immmature baby that cant handle this on my own and im dumping my problems on the next random person that reads this.. but i cant take it anymore. i cant just keep holding it in;; and i dont have anyone to talk too.. i feel so alone.. my mom hates my guts..and to be honest, i have NO clue why even. she hits me. she cusses me. she tells me mean gorrible things. i am so hurt; shes supposed to be my mom, my protector, yet shes the one that hurts me.. i fell in love with this boy about a year and a half ago. i gave him everything. my heart,my soul, my love, my happiness, my virginity. and now, hes done? just done. and moved on.. but i still love him with all my being. i love him more than life itself. i would do anything to make him happy. so if it means he’s happy without me, i’d rather that than him be miserable with me.. iwould honestly DIE if it would make him happy. i would do anything for him. and yet, he dont even WANT me? how stupid am i? and people say “you need to move on, and get over him” its a lot harder than people think. im going to be 16 next month, and i cant take this. im not good with trying to handle problems like this. i havbe no friends anymore, becuase i push them away. i do this to myself. its like deep down, i never want to be happy. but i do. and i have started to do stupid horrible things to myself. i cut, i burn, i take pills. anything to try to make the pain go away. i cut up my arms, i’ve moved to my stomach and my thighs where people won’t see… if you seen me;; you wouldnt believe i did those things. or do dot hem. i seem like everything is fine, but deep down, im suffering. im screaming for someone to CARE. but no one will even give it a chance.. sure i talk to people..but none of them really truly care who i am or how i feel. if anyone has any advie,,pleaseee help?