Ive been thinking a lot of things through lately, trying to remember when I started wanting to kill myself.
I dont remember, I think it was just so long ago that thet fantasies started, that I just have lost track of the years.
You know the fantasies I’m taling about; the bloody bathtubs, lifeless body hanging from a rope, unconscious lump of dead weight lying on a bed, pill bottle sitting empty on the nightstand. I’ve had them all before, and many others I don’t relly understand. Throwing myself in front of a car, jumping off the golden gate bridge, going skydiving without a parachute.
I have come up with a solution to why those last few fantasies seem much more intriguing then the others. They’re…exciting. I think if I was going to really go through with it I would want to go out with a bang, you know, live on the edge for the last few moments of my life.
That’s crazy, though. Who thinks about things like that on a daily basis and thinks that it’s normal?
I do, duh.
Isn’t that normal for a teen to think about that? I mean, all people think about how they’re going to die someday at one point in there life, and i just happen to think about it now, and most of the time suicide is what I come up with, because im too chicken to get out of my office and go live in the world.
If you live, then you die faster. That’s all there is to it.
4 comments
I don’t know , i’m not sure at all that your fantasies are genuinely set upon the fact that you wanna die , you could simply be curious , maybe even fumed by your current circumstances and tribulations . you’ve still got a lot to go through , years and years of experience , and so do i , i’m only 16 , and i can tell you right now , what you need is a friend , maybe sex with someone you truly care for , a dog too , a purpose . you don’t need death . you’ll have all the time in the world , literally to deal with that later .
and yes , it’s actually quite the norm for teens to think about that .
Everything living dies . That is truly all there is to it . Try to make the most of what it is you have for at least now , you don’t need to commit suicide now . You don’t know what it is you can have to live for . Just that alone , that should give you all the strength in the world , to keep on .
Hi “All there is to it”
Dreams fantasies and realeties, well if you jump from a brige, plane, you will die, it is not a dream or fantasy.
I have tried to kill myself and God entervined, God is real and Jeus Christ saved me, He is my Lord and Saviour.
The reality is satan attack our minds trough thoughts, dreames and friends, I am 42 and speak of experiance, I have learned the hard way that friends can make or brake you, Jess sugested for you have sex; well thats up to you, but think of the day of your marrage, your virgenety is gone…
Say no more, my bidding to you is make sure watever you do think it trough first, and think of the consecunses of your actions, remember every action has an reaction, and it is not always the desired avect…
I whent trough lots of pain and anger, dissapointments, I coused lost of pain to others wen I was drunk…
Jesus have changed my live but other still havent forgive me, they hate my guts, I pray God to help them in their unforgivenes and for their salvation.
Well this is a bit of my story, and do apologise for my broken englise and spelling.
marius777
Hi, I just wanted to leave a little note, because I get it. I wake up, let’s say, 7 days out of 10, and all I can think about is wanting to kill myself. The reason why I’m reluctant to post, is because I’ve never actually tried. So what does that make me, a poser? A wannabe suicidal loser? It’s not a competition. Maybe it’s a victory, if you count things that way. I just find it hard, living life. It seems so much more logical and practical to just end it all. But I just haven’t got around to it, I guess. And there are so many reasons why that’s a good thing–mostly because of the people in my family, and my few remaining friends, who would be hurt by it. If that’s the only nice thing I can do for them, then I guess it’s not so bad. Though I sometimes catch myself wishing my parents were dead, so that I could go ahead and kill myself without guilt. We’re all going that way anyway, aren’t we? Anyway, I suppose that’s not helpful. But I’m just enumerating the reasons some of us, lacking a motivation to keep on going, end up doing so anyways. It’s not so bad, really. Living life for others. Because we all end up dead in the end–so why not make other people’s lives a little better in the meantime? That’s all I can say. Good luck with it all.
-s
@susan5: you should post something if you want, most of us are here I guess to find out what makes other people think about suicide, not to read about the failed attempts.
to “thats all there is to it”
I know what you mean about the thinking, I think heaps about my death and the aftermath and sometimes really strange thoughts pop up amongst them it’s real odd, anyway i decided when i leave this place it’s gonna be my way or no way… or i guess the natural way.
you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, what’s making you think about suicide?