If i were a heart I’d be broken

  April 8th, 2010 by bleedfordavey

I wish i was outside looking in

i wish i could drop my pain i wish i could live a normal life, i wish i could hold together like everyone else i wish i could be strong

but all i am is weak full of nothing as i weep

i am suppose to be moving on suppose to be having fun healing you could say

its like everyone has abandoned me

i am diseased and alone

you dont understand you dont know

ill be fine you say and i might be maybe

my heart broken in a million pieces never whole again

my body rebelling toward me

and all that seems to come is tears neverending lonely tears

i am so fucked up right now in such a miserable exsitance right now

i try to tell them i try to be happy i try to smile

i try…

the world won’t stop it never does for anyone

i am stuck in a neverending battle can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t feel can’t live

My days are lonely, i wish for work everyday so i dont have to be home with my tears

so i dont have to sit and confront my mind

so i dont have to think of you

so i dont have to think of your kisses your hugs

so i dont have to think of cuddling

because i have nothing anymore

just space a hole a void

you go on and forget me i was never worth it anyway

i am not worth anyones tears, smiles, pain, time

i am nothing

i try to be sweet

i try to  be…but what good does it do no one appriciates anything anymore

someone love me

i cant make it

let me know your there

i say dont worry about me silly you have better things to do

which you do if you waste your time on me you will never be happy ill just push you to breaking again

so be happy and know i love you

as always i can never get away from it

and i ll move on ill live

but no one said ill be happy about it

find me beautiful find me lovely just find me

i want someone who will treat me with respect who will love me for who i am not for who i change to be

i truely miss you but ill be fine you know i cant stay down for long

i live a never ending wave and it contiues to wash over me

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