My step-dad is moving out today.
I’m sitting upstairs in my room listening to him clatteraround downstairs, moving boxafter box into his car, pile load after load of his things and carry them away.
I get the feeling that I should be feeling sorry that he is leaving, moving away to another house where I won’t see him everyday, let him ask me how school was or anything else he usually does.
But I don’t.
I don’t feel sorry that he’s going, and I don’t know why.
He’s lived with me since I was 8 years old. He was there when my father abondened us, he was there when I needed boy advice, and he was there when I got my permit. He has been more of dad to me then my dad ever was, even when he was around, so why don’t i feel bad that he’s moving out?
He told me he doesn’t love me. I wasn’t surprised in the least bit, I never expected him too, but It’s not I’m mean to him, it’s not like I’m some horrid ***** who defies everything he says and disrespects him left and right like some kids do to their step-parents. I don’t see why he never loved me. Maybe it’s all his issues he had with his mom and his sister while he was growing up, a lot fo the abuse he suffered he suffered from them, but that doesn’t mean he has to treat the other women in his life like crap, does it?
I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t be talking since I have issues myself with men, but I guess I never really loved him either, not like a daughter loves her father, anyway. But I don’t love my biological dad like that either, not by a longshot.
I feel bad.
I’m not sorry.
10 comments
Dear Violet,
Some of your postings are master pieces. The one about Alison left me speechless. The others where you describe the scenes are superb. You would leave me to pieces if you did anything to yourself. Such a talented writer and story teller with so much insight into picking things from the surroundings. The one about Alison was released drop by drop so that every word sank in. That is a master way of doing it, but the remarkable thing is that you did not plan it to do it so, it is the way you tell things.
Thank you!! I have been writing novels and poems and things since I was a little kid so it feels good to have someone say that i am in fact a good writer. You are a very good person, at least thats what I have seen so far and u are the only person in the world who has ever flat out said “please don’t kill yourself” those words mean more then actions or anything else ever could, so thank you so much!
hugs
Al
Greetings Violet,
I agree with justalvaro entirely. You have such talent; emotions are expressed so well throughout all of your pieces. I especially enjoyed reading ‘Phoebe Zodiac’.
Keep it up! You have so much potential.
Dear Violet,
The idea kept coming while dining, driving and walking. If you have things written, you should consider putting them on Amazon. As you probably know, there is something called “Kindle” which is a device to read E-books, (check it out if you havent heard of it). You need 0 dollars investment. Also, Amazon publishes on request, so that paper version would be possible too.
And I am happy to work with you on a storyline for a book. You do the actual writing and we come up with the storyline. All the credits yours, of course.
warm greetings
Al
I agree with justalvaro and Rebecca on this. Your posts were really good, and I especially enjoyed the one about Alison. I also have been writing stories for some time now, and I admit I would enjoy reading more of yours.
Well…..I don’t know, you don’t love him you don’t.
Love can’t be forced and if you don’t, well than you just don’t. Don’t feel bad about the fact you don’t love him because love can’t be forced and for some reason you just don’t. Don’t expect yourself to love him. Because when you don’t well you just don’t.
Im confused. Are people just writing things for novels…? Im sorry im stupid… I have to go punish myself.. >_< I hate being an idiot
@Sae22. Yes, you are inventing imaginary conclusions. Violet has an extraordinary talent as a writer, and she has been writing long before. Whatever the book she writes does not have to have anything to do with this topic. I identified that talent and I encourage her to start a book in a professional way. It can be a comedy, a thriller, whatever.
@Sae 22. Dont go to punish yourself for heaven’s sake! We have to care for ourselves because events in life take care enough of “punishing” us once in a while. Today I went to the convenience store and grabbed 4 chocolate cakes for myself as a treat because they have cancelled me all the flights in Europe and when I bought the train tickets, the French national railway started a Strike right on my train, so I was stranded and the bus connections after that train all lost. So you are Not dumb at all. At all, the thing is that the blues make you more vulnerable and you overdimension everything. One of the arts in life is take the right measure of events, (I am still learning that technique myself though)
hugs
Al