“Suicide is a game that you dont win, you just decide when to lose” – R.M.
i have a question to those online right now or who ever. if i am really really depressed and want to kill myself about every minute of every day, how do i reverse that? lately i just dont think im going to make it to august. Lately i actually want to die. no “real” hesitations, just looking in the past for clues where i went wrong.
P.S. If any of you noticed, i am new here so sorry if i suck at it or i put crap that dosent make sense.
14 comments
I have the same feeling but email me at rebeccajneilson@gmail.com i noticed you didnt put why you are depressed and thats the first way your ever gonna help your self please shoot me a email k
Well first off you’ve got a gun you lucky S.O.a.B. and if want to reverse it then you must get rid of it, I know in a recent comment you said it makes you feel safe and it’s all you got but right now you don’t want to kill yourself right? Well what if you go through a real bad moment throughout your depression and reach for the gun, you’d be making a terrible mistake. If you don’t want to get rid of it then at least lock it away and hide the key in a hard place to find so you don’t grab if you get drunk. I have no idea how to reverse your feelings or why you feel this way, if your thinking of killing yourself every minute of the day then at least go for long walks everyday while thinking, stuff like that, I know it sounds like something stupid you’d see in a movie but you need to see everything that you will leave behind, the goodness in life just as well as the bad and then whatever decision you make it will be the right one… I know I’m not much help, sorry.
Hello. I think you need to write what ever you feel you need to write. Please do.
When I would keep thinking about where I went wrong, I’d tend to keep putting myself in the negative hell I was trying to escape. Don’t be afraid to focus more on where you want to go right. The cool events you want to experience in your life. Become apart of a beautiful future by planning it and making some steps, any steps towards it. The journey is the victory. It’s not in some far off place, but a part of you now. Move with it and away from thinking about everything you did wrong. Learning from our mistakes is invaluable, but the trick is to learn from them, and not live in them.
On the gun issue. I really wish you would ditch it. Please just try envisioning yourself involved in creating some of your goals. If you don’t have any, you need to make some. Let the knowledge that you can achieve and will achieve these be your feeling of safe.
Try doing something everyday that is a step toward beauty in your life. As the days progress, this effort will open doors you didn’t know existed for you. Really. Maybe become a volunteer for some cause if your not sure what you want to do. The friendship can be awesome.
These are only my opinions but I do believe and trust them or I sure wouldn’t share them.
Peace & Love
I just saw what mychoice wrote. It’s very true. About the gun, the walk, everything. Please really take in what mychoice wrote.
To add to what Unity and Mychoice have said, your first step should be to take a step back from the situation you’re in, whatever it may be, and evaluate it.
What’s causing you so much pain and why?
Seriously sit down and consider this. When you can clearly determine the root of your problem, the next step would be to change it in a way that makes you think less of suicide and more about doing happier things in your life.
If you find that you can’t change it, you should remove yourself completely from it, even if this means moving as far away as you can and starting anew. The trick is, is to make sure your problem doesn’t follow you or strike up again.
The problem I’ve found and have also faced, in people like us, is that we sometimes forget that life is full of choices, of different roads and paths to take. We walk down a path that’s blocked by debris, sigh in defeat, and sit on the edge of the road in hopelessness. Instead of turning around and trying another.
Life isn’t something that controls us, it’s something -we- control, we just forget this.
And there are always options.
Also, It’s good to look into the past so you do not make the same mistakes twice, but -never- dwell in it.
Nothing good -ever- comes from dwelling on things done there; it’s been done, we cannot change it, we can only meld it into something that suits our needs; and hope we don’t do it again.
Ok so the first thing you need to do is get yourself to a hospital where you can be safe. I only say this out of compassion and concern. sometimes when emotions run at a high we dont have control over our thoughts and even our actions. at least if you are in a safe place they have a chance at helping you even if its just a safe bed to sleep in.. ive been there trust me.. you wont like it at first but honestly its the best thing you can do 🙂 xx please take care
I haven’t read the other comments because I am hardly in the mood to do so, but to answer your original question:
It isn’t permenantly reversible. Everything within the scope of human action can be considered ‘normal’, so if someone says that they can ‘change’ that, I wouldn’t trust them because the way you feel is natural, and therefore intrinsic to your nature. This includes people on this website who try and promote ‘saving’ people, and also psychiatrists, doctors etc. If they tell you that you are fixable, they do it simply for their own glory. This isn’t to say that life sometimes throws out glimpses of hope, but the overriding sense of despair will never go away because that is the way that humans are made. Anyone who believes that life equals ‘happiness’ is just ignorant of how much pain there is.
It’s completely your choice, anyway. I’m not saying that you should or should not commit suicide, I just think you should know that you can’t be changed without vigorous and unnatural methods. For example, I’m currently awaiting therapy. Their aim is to change the way you think. But the way you think is who you are. It is difficult to alter that.
I have rambled. Today is not a good day. I assure you I’m usually more cohesive. I’mma just end with something awesome.
‘Six feet from an early grave,
Nine inches from being saved,
Eighteen hundred miles of skeletons on the interstate’
I’m going to have to argue your point Anna, Suicide and depression is not natural.
I say this out of a few years of research into my own problems, and I believe what the doctors say about depression being caused by a deficiency of a chemical somewhere in ones brain. I could spout off a speech of what they say but I just woke up and don’t really want to.
But I will say this, look hard at the animal kingdom for example, there are no depressed animals, and very few that commit suicide willynilly; and if they do they usually have a viable “circle of life” thing going there.
Expect for those sheep, those sheep are just stupid.
That is not to say we don’t and won’t have dark moods, and I will agree with you when you say life’s not all sweet smells and children laughing. But what I’m talking about is when you’ve been in a dark mood for so long you think that it’s just part of life, you can’t escape it, you can’t stop it, and you can’t do anything about it.
That is wrong, and it’s simply not natural. Any living being is, in fact, suppose to live. If we were born simply to grow up, get so sad that we take our own lives in a completely unnatural way, then what the fuck was the point of us being born?
Don’t think that I’m here simply to help people for “my own glory” I’m as fucked up as the rest of you. I do this, I try to help others like me, because I know, oh fuck I KNOW what it’s like to be so goddamned sad you want to rip out your own fucking heart. but I also know, for a FACT, that you can achieve some kind of happiness in life. The problem with most of you people here?
You don’t want to.
But then a lot of you do seem like you have no reason to live, no families worthy of your love, no friends, or relationships to nurture and watch grow and bloom. But there is so much more to life than all of that! You don’t need a man or woman wrapped around your arm to be happy, friends are okay but it’s so rare to find one that either of your won’t eventually grow apart from. And family, Life is always so much better when you have one that you can love and loves you in return; but it’s not always like that.
If you can look beyond these minute details of life you will see, and I cannot stress this enough, that there is so MUCH more to life.
To better yourself, to learn things you’re never learned, to SEE things you’ve never seen. To see the beauty of life and nature -apart from humans f’ed up society- BEFORE we humans destroy it. Just going outside and gazing up at the stars, an activity so few of us remember doing, is something to hold close to your heart.
Life is riddled with pain and suffering, I am not denying this; but for those like us, that still have roofs over our heads and food on the table, however little of either those are, we have NO room to complain, only to vent.
But you cannot see this if you DO NOT TRY. Call me a hippie, call me a hater; I don’t care if you hate me, as long as I can strike a match somewhere within all of our brains -and to keep mine from going out- then I believe I’ve accomplished something in life.
/rant
Also, I really do hope you feel better Anna, and you Imsorrymom; And I say this from the deepest regions of my dark, fucked up heart. *hugs and cookies*
@Ava: I appreciate your arguement, but we might just have to do the lame ‘agree to disagree’.
From my perspective, depression is natural. Since the medieval period, people have reflected on the characteristics of the ‘melancholy’ personality. Today, ‘melancholy’ is ‘depressed’. Same characteristics, different wrapping.
If it is estimated that one third of Americans are depressed (I’m not American by the way, but I remember seeing this statistic somewhere), then that is a whole lot of people who have ‘unnatural’ thoughts. I think that to contemplate life is completely natural, and one conclusion of this is to see life for what it is: pointless and painful. Not everyone draws this conclusion, of course, but it is a probable and logical end to reflecting on life.
Thus; depression is natural because to consider that a person’s thought process is ‘wrong’ is a contradiction in itself. At the end of the day, some have the tendency to be more melancholy than others. And if this is attributed to a chemical imbalance and therefore can be considered a ‘medical’ problem that can be ‘treated’, then other ‘abnormalities’ have to be regarded- for example, (and I know it’s a lame one, but I can’t be bothered to think of something more intruging), someone who has a slightly larger nose than you isn’t ‘wrong’… just different.
This is how I relate to depression. It is normal because many people experience it… it isn’t something that needs to be treated if it is natural.
And you claimed that some people just don’t want to be happy. I don’t think that’s the case at all… I think that some people just don’t know how.
And also, you wrote that ‘To better yourself, to learn things you’re never learned, to SEE things you’ve never seen. To see the beauty of life and nature’ … but then at the end of all that, you die. Those things you mentioned are marvellous and lovely and beautiful, but for many people on here, there is more saddness in life than happiness. And then you die anyway. Why wait for a lifetime to end it?
… oh, also… tell me about the sheep! I don’t know what sheep you’re talking about. But I like sheep and this sounds interesting, ha ha.
Ah, yeah I think it would be best to do that, I’ve been known to start hour long conversations about these kinds of things and on quite a few cases it’s turned into a full blown, close to blows, argument. heheh which I dunno about you but I’d rather avoid. However if you’d like I can continue if you request it.
As for said sheep http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2005-07-08-sheep-suicide_x.htm that would be it. Strange creatures they are, no?
i’ve found the best way is not to dwell or even think just move on.. plan the next day.. if something awesome is going to happen you won’t wanna miss it.. try focusing on studies or reading a book just to take your mind off it..
i’ve found ellen hopkins books to be interesting, they help as they’re easy to relate to.. try impulse..
sheep?! omg they’re amazing!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i just had to mention that xD
Ava: Yes, probably best to leave it. Because I know what you’re going to say, and you know what I’m going to say.
But on a lighter note… ‘In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile’ = LOLZ!
That’s kind of cheered me up. And also, I have a chocolate yogurt in the fridge. Oh fuck yeah.