…..cant do nething right

I come from a small family and my parents have been through a lot, i dare not do this to them I am there only child and it will kill them. Also, I posted on here saying I’m going to try and keep positive for love. My boyfriend is my best friend and everything to me. I love him so much it hurts. I really really want to die and I am constantly depressed for various reasons… I assume its a mixture of the way I was brought up, my views on life, what I’ve done to my life and what terrible things I’ve done, what situations I’ve encountered, but most of all, my mind. The way its wired and the way it ticks. I don’t think I have the ability to be confident or happy.

I am thankful you have these 2 people in your life… just think about the bond between you all, you can’t ruin that. Yesterday I was ready to die but today I am more optimistic so I am giving it one last shot because of love.