Alone

I care. I care for so many people. But all I’ll get is a fucking dick response no matter what. It isnt easy to wake up with no one giving a fuck about your tommorow, yet I put on a damn smiley fface for everyone, I’m just an accessory to everyone’s ego. Well I’m fucking sick of it. I try so hard to be a kind person but I just get it spat in my face. Even my mom ignores me for that boyfriend. I see her 2 hours a week cause she decided to move in and not tell him about me, and I have no idea who my father is. I guess hes dead by now. I used to have dreams, but nobody wants to hear me ***** about my childhood aspirations. Oh and as you can tell my language vulgare’d up pretty quickly. I have been here before, so many times. I know theres no turning back after that month. I never had any sort of companion in my life. I’m too nice. Isn’t that such a horrible quality. I just can’t fucking controlmyselffromsmashingsomething. I’m not a rich kid, I’m not a cool kid, I’m just an average fuck. I can’t do this much longer. Nothing is gonna change. I’m not in a band. I don’t have a companion. I don’t have shit. No point in typing this. I can’t stop my problems. I tell myself that things get better but they get worse. All I want to do is hurt everybody now. This wasn’t my fault. If everyone didn’t have to act like a hardass it would help. Now I’m giving this a month. I want to hit someone so badly. I came from the mall and watched all the couples blow off my “Hi”s. I can’t fucking relax. I haven’t slept well. I can’t sleep at night in fact. All I think about is a Utopia where people can understand simple happiness. What am I talking about. I’m just gonna end up dead.